


Call Me Home

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-09-02
Packaged: 2017-11-12 01:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life wasn't easy in the early days of the wild west. There were them who settled the harsh land and them who wandered it restlessly. Edward Cullen was of the latter persuasion. He never had a home to rest his heavy heart. Ya reap what you sow, people get what they deserved, so how did a man who knew naught but wrong have something so good and pure handed to him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [ ](http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o82/lyricalkris/Twilight%20Fanfic%20Stuff/?action=view&current=CallMeHomev3.jpg)   
> 

**Dedication: To GinnyW. I know your birthday is in two days and today is MY birthday, but I like making friends happy on my birthday and I love you... and what was supposed to be a one shot turned into a whole story because I am me and that's what I do. So anyway. I love you. I'll wish you happy birthday later**

**A/N: This was conceived by Shug and myself, and lovingly attended by jfka06 and barburella.**

**Disclaimer: Just playing in Stephenie Meyer's driveway with her gorgeous toys.**

* * *

The unsettled west of the United States in the early years of the country's existence was a wild place. Brave few chose to live off the land, making their living on the ranch. Even in the little towns that popped up here and there, life wasn't easy. The land was as deadly as it was wide open and beautiful.

With settlements few and far between, there was no shortage of people ready to take advantage of them who would leave their interests not well enough protected. There were some who would protect the innocent when they could.

Then there were those who weren't averse to slinging their guns for either side, those whose services were available for the highest bidder, legal or not.

James Hunter's gang of misfits wasn't particular about how they went about obtaining their funds. Or at least, that's what James claimed. In all honesty, it seemed to Edward that the man had a cruel streak as wide as the river. More often than not, his little crew seemed to go after the jobs that required blood and violence.

In the dead of the night, when it was just him, the stars, and the coyote for company, Edward Cullen couldn't quite understand how his life had gotten to this point. He'd never set out to be a bad man, but he couldn't deny that with James, he did bad things.

He couldn't say it was all he knew. He'd been raised up better than all that, been brought up with the word of the Lord, and been taught about the evils of sin.

Edward had taken one too many of his preacher father's righteous lickings and decided he was better off serving the barren land than his father's God. He still remembered how he couldn't hardly lift his arm from that last beating as he ran off into the night.

He'd been fifteen years old, angry, and hungry when James found him. James was everything Edward's father despised, and maybe that - along with the promise of good warm meals and money in hand - was what drew him to the criminal and his little gang.

Ten years later, this life was really all Edward knew.

Sometimes, though, he could convince James to do the right thing, take on a job that let them use their gifts for weaponry and scheming for a greater purpose.

Of late, he'd convinced James to assist a small town's church who'd had their every penny taken and their stores raided. The settlement was tiny - no proper general shop, nor saloon - just a few houses, an orphanage, and the church. Seemed a good many of the town's menfolk had taken ill the previous winter and died. The church, and the food they'd rationed, were the only way many of the townsfolk were going to make it through the long, hard winter.

So though the church could provide no monetary form of payment, Edward talked James into a trade. It had been a while since they'd had a proper meal and slept anywhere but the hard ground. Praying on them who couldn't defend themselves wasn't the mark of a strong man, and the job of getting back the little bit of money and food rations would be easy.

As he'd predicted, the job took nothing to accomplish. In one afternoon the stores were replenished and most of the money returned.

The little town did what they could to celebrate their heroes.

As evening fell, Edward was good and drunk on the whiskey that had been passed around. He was trying to revel in the tiny piece of contentment he found - it never lasted, the guilt always returned - except the priest wouldn't stop jabbering in his ear.

Edward tried to have as little as possible to do with church-going folk.

Besides, he found himself highly distracted by the person who'd come up beside him.

Howl at the moon drunk, all Edward would remember later was big, beautiful brown eyes. There was something about them that spoke of warmth, home. He wanted to melt into them, wrap himself in the comfort they promised.

Everything else was flashes - pale skin in the moonlight, the creak of the bed as he moved, a moan, a gasp, and then the darkness of a deep, peaceful sleep.

_**~0~**_

The other girls at the orphanage thought she was very lucky.

They'd all seen the strangers when they came into town, when Father Webber asked them for their help. The children had all huddled in the windows, whispering to each other. They all knew about the men who'd taken all the money away. These men were supposed to get it back, though the general consensus was they looked near as bad as the thieves themselves.

The older children gossiped, each of them too young to be considered an adult but old enough to understand the men had to be paid some way.

Bella tried to ignore it all, get on with her chores, until the priest came to fetch her.

The equation was very simple. The town had too many mouths to feed and not enough to feed them and keep the people in what they needed to survive. There was a surplus of widows and orphans and a deficit of everything else.

Father Weber - the de facto leader of the town and provider of the people - had done what he could where he could. Last Spring, he had given over two of the orphan boys to a farmer who promised to send meat and eggs. In exchange, the boys had food in their bellies, a roof over their heads, and some spare change in their pocket that they might make a life with when they were old enough. The previous Fall, a travelling salesman had given over enough glass to fix many of the broken windows in town and then some in exchange for one of the girls' hand in marriage. Similarly, a rancher from not too far away had need of a wife to look after his two motherless children, and another girl was whisked away.

After she'd been bathed in perfumed waters, as the nuns sat her down, combing her hair out until it was soft and shiny, Father Weber explained patiently what a better life she would have. He could not hope to provide for so many who had nothing to offer. Like most those in the orphanage, Bella had nothing in the way of a dowry. Her parents had died with the sickness that had overcome the town. What little they had had gone to the church to help feed everyone.

She wasn't the oldest girl, but she was the most desirable, as these things went. She wasn't scarred like Emily. Nor was she damaged goods like Lauren who had lost her virtue at the hands of a cowboy who was just passing through, whom Father Webber had let sleep in the barn. Then Angela, of course, was Father Weber's daughter and engaged besides to Ben Cheney.

The man she was to be given over to was handsome, the other girls noted. Very handsome indeed.

The boys thought of the adventures he would take her on.

Lucky, they said.

Now, Bella lay still in bed, trying not to quell her shaking as she watched the sun finally rise through the room's one window. She was nude, her sore body tucked up against his, his arm firm about her waist. She'd been crying off and on all night but now gritted her teeth, telling herself to stop being foolish.

Her future lay in front of her, a yawning blank space she couldn't know, at least not until the man who lay beside her woke and talked to her.

If he was interested in talking.

Bella quaked, perversely glad of the man's warmth though it was him she feared, technically speaking.

As if he'd heard her thoughts, he stirred, wiggling against her. She felt his hardness brush against her thigh and shut her eyes tight, willing herself to find calm.

The man beside her - Edward - groaned, lifting his head and blinking, wincing at the light of the dawn. As his eyes focused on hers, she hoped fervently he couldn't tell she'd been crying. She tried her best to smile at him, though she was sure it must have been a weak effort.

"Ah, hell," he muttered, rolling away from her onto his back.

Bella frowned, her stomach twisting sickeningly. Was he displeased with her? She remembered the way his eyes had raked her body when they were standing by the light of the fire, when Father Weber was making his offer. The look in Edward's eyes then had made her throat tight and her face get hot. Her stomach had filled with butterflies, and her very skin had felt alive. Aware. It was a peculiar feeling she was entirely unaccustomed to, and she'd ducked her head, shy and a little ashamed but pleased he might find her pretty.

But perhaps he was not satisfied now that he saw her in the light of day. Bella had never found herself particularly attractive, though she didn't think she was ugly either. This morning, though, she did feel sticky. Dirty.

She most certainly did not feel as fresh and pristine as the nuns had made her the day before.

Edward turned his head to her again, his eyes opening slowly, as if perhaps her being there had just been a trick of the light.

"Christ almighty," he moaned, a hand over his eyes. He groaned as he got upright, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "You're just a child."

Frowning, Bella sat up, her back against the wall, and gathered the thin blanket closer to her, covering her body. She bit her lip, confused. What was her role here? How could she know?

Edward turned back to her, and it seemed as though he was extraordinarily guilty. His green eyes that had struck her in the firelight the night before seemed heavier somehow in the early dawn light of the morning. Deep with some unknown pain. "How old are you?" he asked gently.

She had to swallow hard, finding her voice missing for a few moments before she could speak. "Sixteen."

He closed his eyes tight, breathing through his nose.

"B-but I'll be seventeen soon. Just another month," she defended.

When he opened his eyes again, he reached for her. Before she could help herself, Bella flinched, cringing away from his touch. Quickly, she corrected, trying to keep her breath steady though her heart was suddenly pounding out of control.

It wasn't his fault he'd hurt her last night, she reasoned. She hadn't known much of those kinds of relations between a man and a woman, but she knew the pain was natural. He hadn't be so rough with her, she realized. His touch was soft. Not at all like the man who'd taken Lauren.

Bella had been the one to stumble on them. She'd seen the way the man gripped the blond girl, holding her head down on the dirty ground while his body drove into hers.

It hadn't been like that with Edward at all.

And besides, it was her duty.

Edward held up his hands, palm out. "I'm so sorry, chickabiddy," he said softly. "I won't touch ya." He grimaced. "At least, not again."

"N-no. It's fine. I didn't mean to make that face. You just surprised me, is all," she said quickly. Beneath the blanket, she twisted the sheet nervously between her fingers.

Bowing his head, Edward rubbed his eyes.

"Oh!" Bella exclaimed, realizing he must be hung over from the night before. His kisses had tasted of hard liquor. "L-let me get you s-s-some water," she stuttered. She winced at the soreness between her legs as she got out of bed, pulling her discarded dress over her head quickly.

"You don't have to-"

"I know how to be biddable," she said quickly. "Just give me a chance. I'm just not accustomed to-"

He held up his hands, and Bella snapped her mouth shut, staring at him pensively.

"Little darlin', whatever's got you thinking you're to serve me like this, it's wrong."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "It's my duty, sir. I mean... Edward." She frowned. Was she to call him by his given name? She recalled her mother calling her father by his name, but would he like that?

"Your duty?" He rubbed his eyes again and pulled on his pants. "It's not your duty. You owe me nothing. If anything, it's the other way around."

Again she frowned, confused. She could feel tears brimming in her eyes as frustration crept around the corners of her nervousness. "Please. If you'll only tell me what you expect of me, I know I can be a good wife." She was proud of the way she kept her voice steady, even if it was just a whisper.

Midway through putting his shirt on, Edward's back went rigid. "A good what?"

"A good wife."

He blinked at her stupidly before he laughed a little. "Ah, honey. You don't want to be my wife. Believe me."

Bella looked down at the ground, folding her hands in front of her, trying to understand what was going on. "But I am your wife."

"Come again?"

"Y-you don't remember?"

He looked at her blankly.

"Mr. Cullen. Edward. We are already married."

* * *

**A/N: Thoughts? Comments? Fears? Hopes?**

**Talk to me people!**

**  
**


	2. Now Who Thought This Was A Good Idea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication: To GinnyW. Happy birthday, baby doll.

As dawn broke, Edward squatted down by the river, filling his canteen, but really just staring off into space.

He hadn't felt this guilty since he'd done his first crime.

He'd long ago thought he'd gotten used to the fact that when he thought about his Ma and Pa, he knew they'd be ashamed of the man he'd become. They hadn't raised him to be this way.

But this latest turn... Hell if he didn't feel lower than a rattlesnake's belly and three times as vile as the vermin he still thought himself above.

He'd taken a girl's innocence and didn't even have the courtesy to remember.

His gut churned sickeningly, remembering the way she'd flinched away from his touch. Though he couldn't bring himself to ask, he couldn't imagine he'd been that gentle with her. Good God, she was just a girl. Hardly more than a child. He must have hurt her, probably more than was absolutely necessary.

The thought made him scowl. None of it was necessary. It shouldn't have happened, not ever. And he could vow not to touch her again all he wanted, but it wouldn't make things right. She was tainted now. Damaged goods. And even if he got them un-hitched, there wasn't many who'd want her when she'd been had by someone else. At least, they wouldn't want her as a bride.

It made Edward furious to think of her having to hole up in some whore house, painting her pretty face with too much rouge. He thought of all the men he knew who visited those places. He saw their big, meaty hands all over her small, fragile body. The thought made him enraged. His fists clenched and he stood by the river, wanting badly to tear someone apart, anyone who hurt her.

His shoulders slumped when he remembered again: the only one who'd hurt her was him.

He breathed in the clean, cool air of the morning deeply.

It was a right fine mess he was in, that was for sure.

It had been two days since he'd found himself hitched.

He was quickly discovering his little wife was stubborn as all get out. Once he'd figured out what happened, what he'd been agreeing to whatever the preacher was saying without actually listening to the words, he was quick to assure the girl - Bella - that he would fix it. Surely the priest would understand he'd make a lousy husband.

Bella didn't seem to care about all that. She went on at length that she would be no bother. It wasn't in her to complain, and she was no city girl used to fine things. He tried arguing that she deserved those things, but she'd have none of it.

"You won't throw her off," a girl perhaps a year or so older than Bella had told him when his wife insisted on going to make sure his horse was ready. She identified herself later as Angela, and the more refined way she spoke made Edward think she was well educated - perhaps doted upon by the priest above the others for one reason or another. "Miss Bella never eats her share of the rations, but gives most her food up to the little ones. She knows if you're to care for her, all her rations would be spread among us, and we'd all have more."

That was how he found himself leaving that little town with Bella clinging to his waist tight.

It'd been two days since then and true to her word, Bella hadn't complained a lick. She'd been the epitome of dutiful, not saying a word though it was obvious she was sore from being so long in the saddle. No matter that he tried to protest, the girl was insistent that she make his dinner and breakfast when he rose.

She was clumsy, fumbling her way through what she thought her duty was. They lingered behind the other men when they rode. Their teasing was too crude for her innocent ears, and besides - he didn't like they way they looked at her.

Edward ran his hands through his hair, considering his options.

Well, better or worse, he had himself a wife, and he was going to have to figure out how to keep her safe.

Best to start with the obvious. She'd probably be awake. He eyed the water, wondering if the fish would bite this morning. Maybe a nice breakfast of fresh fish would be better than the usual -

His thought cut off when he heard a scream come from the direction of their camp. A female scream.

He ran.

Seemed that he couldn't stop making mistake after mistake. He never should have left his sweet bride alone.

The sight he ran up to would be emblazoned in his mind forever.

Felix and James held her between them, restraining her as she thrashed wildly, screaming. They had her on her side, Felix pinning her head down against the dirt with one hand while he caught her flailing fists with another. James was at her back, tugging her dress down off her shoulders. Edward could hear the fabric ripping. She was screaming for them to stop, yelling "no" and cursing them with language that would have made him blush if he wasn't so completely infuriated.

Edward was going to kill them.

_**~Bella~** _

It had been all Bella could do to keep her emotions in check the last two days.

She wished Edward would at least tell her what was expected of her. He argued when she tried to cook for him, though he did seem appreciative of the food once she got it done. He apologized about a thousand times an hour for something - that the ride was too long, the sun too hot, the night air too cold.

He was a conundrum, this husband of hers. There was something so kind about him, and yet he was close as kin to these ruffians.

In the orphanage, she was used to trying to disappear. She did her chores, helped with the younger children, and generally tried not to be too much trouble. The nuns didn't have enough time and some of the little ones needed the attention more.

So she was a little perplexed when he continuously asked how she was doing, or as they rode along, he asked about her family, her interests. Once she started talking, she found she couldn't stop. She laid her cheek against his back, inhaling his pleasing scent of leather as they talked.

He seemed to like her. He chuckled appropriately and listened attentively.

There were times when she thought he might want to kiss her, or at least touch her with amorous intention. The evening previous, when he helped her from their horse, her body had slid along his. When she stood on her own feet, her hands were still splayed over his chest. She could feel his heart pitter-pattering beneath her palm.

When they were face to face, pressed up against each other, all the air seemed to be sucked out of the world. Suddenly it was impossible not to think about the way his hands felt on her body.

She'd expected him to take her quickly, claim the territory that was now rightly his, but he hadn't done that. That night, his hands had caressed, his lips had kissed softly.

He'd made her feel things Bella had no name for.

So while yes, she was frightened of his advances and overwhelmed by how quickly her life had changed, part of her was curious. She didn't know if that was natural, felt her cheeks heat at the thought. It was her duty after all.

Still, both nights they'd been together since the wedding, he hadn't tried to lay so much as a finger on her. The first night they'd slept in an Inn. He'd left her the bed and laid himself down on the floor, leaving her awake most the night, wondering if and when he would climb in the bed with her. He never did.

Last night they'd set up camp a little ways away from the other two men they were riding with. Edward said they were halfway to wherever they were going. He'd laid out his bedroll for her and curled up against a stump himself.

Yes, some part of her was grateful. The pain of marital relations, with a stranger no less, wasn't something she was eager to experience again. But she was his wife. She still fretted that he found her displeasing, though he'd explained over and over again he should never have taken advantage of her, and he would make a lousy husband.

But he was the only husband she was to have.

So that morning, when she woke to hands roaming her body, her heart first skipped a beat, and she tensed. Then she felt a hint of relief because, though he'd promised he would figure out how to take care of her, Bella feared being discarded.

Just as quickly though, her fear increased twofold.

His hands were rough. Too rough. Squeezing. Hard enough to bruise.

And there were too many hands.

Bella's eyes snapped open and she screamed when she found herself facing not her husband, but one of the other men - James.

His eyes were cold. Malicious. Lascivious and predatory.

And the other one, the large one - Felix - whose leers had unnerved her, was behind her.

Bella screamed. James clamped his hand hard over her mouth.

"Quiet now, little lady. No need for all that noise. We ain't even touched you yet. Really." He gave her ass a hard squeeze.

She shook her head loose. "Please. My husband-"

"Your husband is used to sharing his conquests with us. Well, it wouldn't be the first time anyway." Felix's raucous laugh in her ear made Bella shudder. "Quit yer wiggling." He hitched his leg up around hers, stilling her kicking legs as best he could.

"You want to please your dear husband, don't ya?" James asked.

They were pawing at her. They wouldn't let her loose. She was fighting, pleading, hollering, but it wasn't getting her anywhere. When James tried to kiss her, she bit his lip. He yelled and raised his hand to hit her. Bella squeezed her eyes shut, but the blow never came.

"What in all hell do you think you're doing! Come away from her!"

Bella managed to lift her head, finding Edward's normally pensive face twisted in fury. He was stalking quickly toward them, and as he got there, he bodily hauled Felix back, throwing him away from her with a strength that had her stunned.

"We all did the job, we all get a piece," James growled when Edward went back for him.

That didn't stop Edward from punching him square in the jaw.

When their weight was gone from her, Bella skittered backward into a sitting position. It took her a few seconds to get her wits about her, but then she was horrified.

The men - James equal in size and Felix much larger - were grappling with her husband. There were two of them and only one of him.

Just as she had gotten to the point where she wanted to throw herself between them, Felix managed to get Edward's arms locked behind his back.

"Just what is your problem?" the larger man growled.

"My issue?" Edward tried to wrest himself out of Felix's iron grip. "It was me she was promised to, not you. She is mine and mine alone, and you will not touch her."

"She liked it. Calm down," James sneered.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's why she was carrying on. Let go of me."

Felix did, and Edward stumbled forward, his hand on the gun at his belt. He whirled on both of them. "You listen here. You come near my wife, _my_ wife, again, and I will end you."

The other two men just laughed. "Ah, Eddie. We were only funin'."

"Get out of my sight, and stay away from my wife."

"'Spect it's understandable he wants her to himself for a spell, sweet young thing," Felix allowed. His eyes were roaming her body again. Bella turned her head away, shuddering with revulsion. "Come on, James. He'll tire of her soon enough."

They ambled over to their own camp.

Edward blew out a breath before he turned to her. His expression was contrite, and he held his hands out imploringly. "Are you hurt, chickabiddy?"

Bella opened her mouth to answer that she was intact but only a little mewling sound came out. She didn't realize until that moment that she was shaking too hard to answer, her hands clutching her torn clothes shut.

"Whoa now. Hush. It's alright." Edward was at her side in an instant. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Ah, sweet thing. I told you I'd make a lousy husband. I don't know what I was thinking, leaving you alone even for a heartbeat." He rocked her, stroking her hair and her back.

When she had calmed somewhat, he took her face in his hands. Bella was ashamed, both because those men had touched her like that and because she'd been blubbering like a baby. She tried to avert her eyes, but he called her name so soft, she couldn't help but look up.

"I promise you, Bella. I promise no one is ever going to hurt you again. Hear?"

She shook her head minutely.

With a sigh, he kissed her forehead with the tenderest of motions. "Not even me, chickabiddy. Not even me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to jfka06, shug, and barburella
> 
> And thanks to all of you for your interest in this story!


	3. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So here's the deal. This here chapter is unbeta'ed, and I apologize for that. I had to put my cat down very suddenly yesterday and I could use things that make me happy. Not a lot makes me happier than fic feedback and this chapter was written. So, there you have it.
> 
> To those of you who are reading Lost Half whom I promised an update, I still intend to update it today. I'm trying to get through it.
> 
> Thank you so much for your response and support to this little fic of mine. MWAH.
> 
> Incidentally, I found chickabiddy when I was looking through old west slang. I thought it was adorable, too. And it doesn't get the squiggly red underline!

The day James and Felix attacked his wife, Edward made a decision right then and there he needed to get her as far away from them as quick as possible.

Seeing as they were headed to where some actual paying work might be, James was none too pleased when Edward announced he was taking a sabbatical long enough to see Bella to safety.

"I don't know why you got yer back up over some silly little whore," James sneered, and Edward had to resist the urge to punch him. Again. "Hell, you ain't even gone near her since that first night. I figured you was done with her." He scoffed. "She couldn't be that good of a lay if you won't touch her."

"You don't need me for this job," Edward countered, speaking loud to cut off whatever vile thing would next come out of James's mouth. "Felix's friend Demetri was looking for work. Take him on this run, and I'll catch up with you on the next."

James argued, but Edward wouldn't be swayed. Anyway, it was good to put some distance between himself and the other two men. He was still too furious, rage still churning in his gut when he thought of Bella caught up between them.

Though why he'd expected anything different, he didn't know. The women that'd had cause to wander with them before were always of a certain sort. James had a harpy he was particularly fond of named Vicky who'd come with them more than once. She was a hellion - wild and completely crazy, truth be told. Wanton.

How could they not see that Bella was different? She wasn't like them. She was young and pure and...

Well, he was being a hypocrite wasn't he?

And yet she looked on him so trusting, not fighting when he told her they were leaving.

"I'm gonna get you someplace safe, chickabiddy," he promised as they rode off. "You won't ever have to see them again. Hell, if it pleases you, you never have to see me either."

He didn't really understand why she looked so stricken at the last.

_**~0~** _

Edward couldn't recall that he'd ever shared a horse with someone for more than a few minutes. Every now and again, he'd give some little rascal who'd wandered out too far a ride into town. When he was knee high to a grasshopper, he recalled riding with his brother while their father led the placid mare by the reins.

So it was strange how quick he got used to Bella's arms around his waist, her cheek resting against his shoulder blades, and her soft, lilting voice telling tales in his ear.

Typically speaking, when he was riding, his thoughts got all snarled up inside his head. With Bella, his thoughts were tangled up in her: her stories, her life. Alone one night after she'd drifted off to sleep, he considered how though he'd often ridden alongside James and the others, he'd always felt alone. With Bella, not so much.

She had a curiousness to her that was sweet. Oh, she tried minding her business, true enough, but he could see the questions in her eyes. Sometimes she tried to be sneaky about it. Once, he caught on the way she slipped her hand into his holster as they rode, fingering the butt of his revolver. She blushed when they stopped for a bit and he handed her the thing, teasing that if she wanted to see it so much, she need only ask.

Ask she did, wondering at the make and model. Edward was so enamoured, he ended up showing her how to shoot the thing, standing behind her with his hands at her waist so the kickback wouldn't send her sprawling on her pretty rear end.

"I'll get you one of your own, if you'd like. Maybe a pistol a little more fit for a lady," he promised.

He'd rope her the moon if he thought it would make her feel better, even begin to make up for what he'd put her through so far.

Often, he found himself charmed not by her wiles like so many of the women he'd known, but by the naive innocence that belied a quiet strength.

One night, he watched her across the fire. It was fast becoming his new favorite pastime: watching her. She was putting on a brave face to be sure, but he saw the way her eyes darted about as she listened to the sounds of the creatures that roamed at night. She was frightened but trying hard not to show it. She sat with her legs drawn up, her arms tight around them, tense as a cowboy trying to keep on a bucking steer.

"Come here," he murmured quietly, holding an arm out.

It was right adorable how her brows quirked up, uncertainty flitting across her features for only a moment before she scrambled the few feet the stretched between them. She ducked her head against his chest, and he felt the tension leave her shoulders after a tick or two.

How odd that she seemed to feel safer in his arms. For a moment, the idea filled his chest and it felt like he was flying. How good it would be were it true, that his arms could be her refuge.

But he couldn't let himself believe in tall tales. She trusted well enough he could protect her from the howling coyotes and whatever else might be lurking, but it didn't change the circumstances.

Edward sighed. "It's a right fine life I've provided you with so far, ain't it?" She blinked up at him, her eyes wide and a little confused, as though she didn't know what to say. "Don't you worry, honey. Where I'm taking you, there'll be four walls and a bed to call your own."

He didn't know how much he wanted to see her pretty smile until she looked down at her hands, obviously upset.

"Ah, hell. What'd I say now?" he muttered.

"It's nothing," she dismissed quickly.

"Bella." The word was a combination of a groan and a growl. Two fingers under her chin, he tilted her head up so he could look her in the eyes. "You're always asking what might please me? Well, it'd please me to know what you're thinking. You're so locked up in that head of yours."

"Oh, I'm not either," Bella argued, her tone exasperated. She seemed surprised at her own little outburst and looked at him sheepishly. "I'm always carrying on about myself, my life. I've told you every little about me."

"Not everything," he countered lightly. "I know you got no reason to believe me, but you've got nothing to fear. You can tell me what's on your mind, whatever it is."

She didn't speak at first but reached her hand up, tentatively laying her palm against his chest, playing with his buttons. "Are you sending me away because I'm not pleasing to you?"

Edward sucked in a breath.

It'd taken some time before she understood that Edward didn't intend to stay with her once they got where they were going. It seemed to him this should be a comfort to her, but the beguiling girl didn't seem to be taking it that way.

"Is that what you're worried about? That I didn't enjoy myself?" He laughed, the sound raw because she had no idea, no idea at all what she did to him.

Like when he'd taught her to shoot, how he couldn't help but notice the way her body fit just right, tucked up against his.

Or when they were riding and he longed to feel her arms around him, feel her clinging to his back without so many clothes between them.

Or when they laid out under the stars with so much space between them and he found himself imagining what it might be like to have her in his arms right then.

Truth be told, he was all twisted up about her but wife or no, he had no right. No right at all.

"Honey," he said gently, hesitantly brushing the pads of his fingers down her cheek. "You're plenty pleasing. Too much so for your own good or mine."

It was bashful, the way she looked up at him then, and she surprised him yet again by giving his lips a little peck. "Please, I know I'm not so experienced, but I can learn." She kissed him again, winding her hands about his neck.

He caught her hands quickly and brought them down between them, breathing harder than he wanted as he shifted a little to put a bit of space between them. "Whoa, now. Hold on." Closing his eyes tight, he took a deep breath, trying to catch his wildly wandering thoughts so he could know the right thing to do. "You don't want to this, Bella."

"I want to be a good wife. If you'll only let me-"

"Little darlin', there ain't nothing wrong with you, understand?" he said firmly, cupping her cheek with his palm, looking her right in the eye. "You weren't given no choice in the matter, and that ain't right. Not at all. It wasn't right of me, and it wasn't right of that preacher to give away what wasn't his to give."

"Isn't that what you're doing though?" she challenged, her voice strong though her eyes were brimming with tears that about broke his heart.

"What?"

"Who is this man you're taking me to? You're not giving me a choice either, 'cause if you were, I'd choose you. I want to be yours, not someone else's, no matter how kind you say he is." Her voice wavered and she turned away from him, the little gasps of her breath telling him she was trying desperately to keep from crying. "I don't want to be someone's whore when I am your wife."

Edward stared, his mouth agape. "Oh, no. No, no. It ain't like that." He laughed because he had to, the thought was so ridiculous. Even if she thought him capable of such a thing, the man he was taking her to was so far away from that kind of man it was crazy. "Carlisle's not like me, not even the littlest bit. He's my big brother, and he's been in love with the same woman since he was younger than you are now. He'd never think to think on you like that."

He sighed, dropping his hands back to his side as he stared out at the fire. "Not that I blame you for believing I'd do such a thing. It's not my intention to give you to some stranger to have at his will." He shuddered, the thought making his fists clench. "You got to know by now I have no idea what I'm doing with you, chickabiddy, but I'm trying. I'm trying to do the right thing by you. I don't know what else to do.

"Carlisle - he's good. Like you. He'll take care of you. He's got a big house out on a ranch, two cute little kids." He turned to her, smiling gently. "He can keep you safe."

Her brow was furrowed but she'd gotten a handle on her tears again. "And you? Where will you be?" she asked softly, shy again.

He stared down at his boots, more ashamed now than he had ever been of who he was. "I'm going to do like any husband should, I suppose. I'm going to provide." He took a deep breath, his heart heavy. "And you... You should have good things, Bella. Maybe I can give you that much. You think on that, on what you really want. Maybe I can even get you a train ticket and a chance to start your life somewhere far away from me. I don't know. I'll just..." He shook his head, feeling foolish. "I'll do what's right by you. I swear it. I swear."

_**~0~** _

Carlisle and Esme Cullen had a beautiful home.

It was, as Edward promised, a large ranch house surrounded by acres of land. They ran the ranch mostly on their own, with the help of just a couple of hands. Though he was a rancher by trade, Edward had explained that Carlisle also served as doctor to the extended community having apprenticed under a doctor for many years.

It still chilled Bella when she remembered the way Edward's eyes had glazed over when he talked about it - one of the few things he'd let loose about his past. "He's smart, my brother. That's how he got away. He run off with Doc Gerandy, and what could Pa say? He was learning an honest trade, even if it weren't the path Pa wanted for him. Then it was just me."

Now she sat in an airy kitchen across from Esme, a lovely woman with caramel colored hair and kind eyes. They were both cradling cups of tea and trying to pretend like they couldn't hear every blessed word their husbands were saying, well, shouting, at each other. Carlisle and Edward were outside but the window was open and their voices were quite clear.

"I'm trying to do the right thing here. Ain't right how I come by her, but it's my responsibility to protect her, right? I can't do that out there. Riding the range ain't no place for a woman. She deserves better."

"She does, and like it or not, you're beholden to her. Your place is here now. You got yourself a wife, and now you want to abandon her?" Carlisle challenged, sounding exasperated.

"Come on, now. That's not what's happening. I'm not trying to foist her off on you and hightail it out of here. I already told you, I want to give her a good life."

There were a few heavy moments of silence between the brothers before one of them sighed - Carlisle, Bella thought.

"Edward, when are you going to stop running?" The man sounded as heartbroken as Bella felt. "You know if I could change what happened-"

"Don't start. Just don't." Edward's voice a growl - dangerous and dark.

"You have every reason to stay, especially now. Don't you see you been handed a gift by God?"

"Oh, you're going to go there, are you? You know where you can stick your God. I've heard enough to last a lifetime from the honest men of the lord. First Pa, and then you know that priest who gave away an innocent girl to an asshole like me without a second thought? Yeah. He's got an illegitimate daughter up at that orphanage." He scoffed. "So talk to me about God's gifts. I'm certainly no gift to her, and she's better off without me."

Bella pushed back from the table, not wanting to hear any more. She ignored the ache in her thighs - they'd been so long in the saddle it was sometimes hard to walk - as she bustled outside the front door. She kept walking until she caught herself on a fence of a corral, and then her shoulders hunched a bit.

She'd cried more in the last week of her life than she had in all the years before it, even when her parents died.

One would think being an unwanted child in a sea of unwanted children, she'd be used to the feeling by now.

Bella jumped when she felt a hand against her back and turned slightly to see Esme had followed her out. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes hurriedly. "I'm fine. I don't mean to be so weepy."

"Oh, sweetie. You poor thing. You weep all you want." The woman drew her into a hug. Bella stiffened at first but then melted. Hugs were good. "You've been through so much, you deserve a good cry."

"I just... I don't want to be trouble for no one." Bella's voice shook as she spoke.

"You're no trouble, sugar. No trouble at all. You got family now, and we're going to take care of you, okay?" The older woman gently wiped away her tears and rubbed her back while Bella calmed down a bit.

"I love Edward like he was my own brother by blood," Esme said after a moment. "Or even my son, seeing how I wish I could guide him true. Edward... he's a lost soul wandering in the dark, but he's a good man."

Bella took a deep breath and nodded. "I know he is," she said and meant it.

Esme tilted her head, looking on her with curiosity. She smiled widely. "My goodness. Carlisle is right, I believe. You're a gift, sugar, by God or otherwise."

Before Bella could comment to this, the sound of whooping and hollering distracted both women. Bella looked up, a little amused to see two boys - mayhap around eight or nine - approaching the house at a run. There was one with long dirty blond hair and the other with curly dark hair. The blond boy held a tiny dark haired girl on his back. She was hardly more than a baby.

"Look, Ma!" the larger, dark haired boy exclaimed brightly as he ran up to Esme. "I caught a rabbit for supper. It's a right big one, too." He held up his prize with a wide grin, so similar to the one Edward war sometimes when she told him an amusing story.

Chuckling, Esme ruffled his hair. "Well, that's good, Em. But where are your manners. Can't you see we have a guest?"

The boy looked at her then, his expression curious. He tipped his hat. "Howdy, Miss. I reckon this hare is big enough to feed everyone, so don't you worry about that."

Bella had to laugh.

"This is your Aunt Bella," Esme said softly.

"Aunt? I have an aunt?" Emmett's voice was the very opposite of his mother's.

"She's your Uncle Edward's wife."

"No foolin'?" Again Emmett grinned and he promptly threw his arm around Bella's waist. "Unc got hitched without us. And you're mighty pretty too." He waggled his eyebrows at her, smiling winningly.

Bella blushed and laughed again. "Well thank you. You're mighty handsome yourself."

"She's got good eyes, Ma."

Esme rolled her eyes. "Lord have mercy," she muttered under her breath. "Anyway. This right here is my baby girl, my Alice," she said, taking the dark haired little girl from the blond boy's arms.

Alice's eyes were green - again, just like Edward. She stared at Bella with the same deep expression, like she was trying to see through to her very soul.

"Alice, will you say hello to your Aunt Bella?" Esme prompted.

The little girl's lips turned up in a grin and she pitched forward, her arms wide. Used to the children at the orphanage, Bella reached up automatically, taking the girl in her arms. Alice hugged her tight. "Hi hi, B'la!"

"Hi hi yourself," Bella said with a smile.

"And this young man here is Jasper Whitlock. The Whitlocks are our closest neighbors," Esme said, rounding out the introductions. "They live out yonder a stretch."

Jasper, hands on his hips, nodded politely. "Ma'am."

"Come on in the house. Emmett, you think you and Jasper can manage to skin that rabbit without your Pa's help?"

"I reckon so. Come on, Jasper."

The boys ran off and Esme shook her head fondly before she turned back to Bella. "Come on, sugar. Let's get you settled, okay? I'll show you to your room."

_**~0~** _

Edward stayed in her room that night but slept on the floor as he had when they stayed in the inn. He seemed withdrawn even more than usual and didn't look her in the eyes all evening.

Bella just didn't know what to do, what she was supposed to do. She didn't want him to leave, but she'd already said as much and he dismissed her. She wanted him in her bed, if only for the assurance that he wasn't intending to cast her off like a pair of overalls that didn't fit.

She wished she was wiser in the ways of women. Perhaps if she could seduce him, he would stay, or at least he would not leave her behind.

But the sun rose and she watched from the bed as he dressed. He rubbed the back of his head, looking around as if he was missing something.

Bella got out of bed, fetching his vest from where it had fallen behind the dresser the night before. She held it out to him, and their eyes met briefly as he reached out to take it.

"Don't look at me like that," he pleaded. "You gotta see it's better for you here than with me. After James-"

Bella closed her eyes quickly, shaken even at the mention of his name, and cut him off. "You don't like those men."

"Pardon?"

"Those men you were with. You don't like them."

"Well, not really," he agreed slowly. "There's not much to like."

"So why are you going back to them?"

He looked away from her, straightening the cuffs of his shirt . "They done right by me when no one else could," he finally said. "Besides, what else am I to do? I gotta provide for you somehow, and there's money to be had out there." He turned back at her attempting a smile that was half hearted at best. "You like it here, don't you?"

"You're right. Your brother and his wife are very kind," she allowed.

Edward nodded, palming his hat and tilting his head down as he put it on. He paused for a moment like this, scuffing his boots against the wood floor. He looked up slowly and drew his fingers down her cheek, his eyes sad. "Don't know how much it's worth after all I done to you but... I'm sorry, chickabiddy. I am."

Bella didn't answer. Her cheek felt hot where he'd touched and she didn't know how to put words to what she felt. She was sorry about a lot of things. She was sorry she couldn't hold him here. She was sorry for the things he'd obviously suffered. She was sorry he was struggling and felt obligated to pay for a bride he'd obviously never wanted.

But she wasn't sorry it had been him.

When he rode off, she watched from the window until his silhouette was a dot on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, dear, oh dear.
> 
> Thank you to GinnyW and barburella
> 
> And thanks again to all of you. Mwah.


	4. Unexpected Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, lovelies. Some of us are not very happy with Edward at all. Let's see how our couple is faring.

A solid weight threw itself down onto his lap, jarring Edward out of his thoughts. He wrinkled his nose, the heady smell of a trough-full of perfume making his head ache instantly. A grating, hyena laugh made him cringe.

"Ah, honey. Why the long face, hmm?"

Edward looked across the saloon to where James and Felix were, their laps similarly full of women with garishly painted faces, their bosoms near falling out of dresses that hung off their shoulders. James raised his mug at him, grinning lasciviously.

Well, that explained who'd sent the whore.

The woman was wriggling, tightening her arms around his neck.

Her perfume was gagging him.

Carefully, Edward reached behind him, taking the woman's wrists and unwinding them. He stood, sliding her off his lap. "Ma'am," he said politely, tipping his hat.

Ignoring the look James and Felix gave him, Edward made for outside, draining the last of his drink as he went.

Course, he wasn't alone for long. James and Felix seemed to have shaken their friends long enough to bother Edward.

"What's gotten into you?" James grumbled.

"It's what hasn't gotten into him." Felix snickered. "I do believe our boy here is pining away for his little wife."

"Is that what it is?" James shook his head. "Going on three and a half months now, you ain't so much as touched a woman. That ain't right, even for you. That there ain't natural at all."

"Ah, come off it. You so concerned what I do with my pecker?"

"You been in a mood. Hand to God, your belly aching's getting on my nerves. You gettin' your wick dipped oughta brighten your cheery disposition some."

Edward looked out over the town, leaning up on the hitching post.

It was still early evening. He wasn't all too far from Carlisle's ranch. He'd have to ride through the night, but he could be there by morning. The winter was getting toward cold, but the night was clear. He'd be able to see by the light of the moon.

His purse was getting heavy with his part of the jobs he'd done these last months, and he didn't trust the post to get the money back to Carlisle.

Back to his wife.

He'd wondered often how Bella was faring.

Suddenly eager, Edward pushed himself up off the post, untying his horse as he went. "I'll meet you a few towns over."

"Ah, where you running to now?" James protested.

"Let him go. After he has a roll in the hay with that wife of his, he'll be back." Felix's guffaw made Edward bristle, but he wasn't going to stop to argue.

He had somewhere to be.

_**~0~** _

Life on the ranch started early, so Edward wasn't surprised when his brother came charging out to meet him just as the dawn broke. What was a little shocking was when his brother who, as far as Edward knew, had never raised a hand at anyone, hauled him off his horse and punched him straight across the mouth, sending him sprawling to the ground.

Were it anyone else, Edward would have been worked up quicker than a hornet with a broken nest. But this was his big brother, the only man he'd ever respected, and Edward had never seen him this angry.

And all his ire was directed right at Edward.

He propped himself up on his elbows, staring up. "Carlisle, what-"

"Don't you even speak to me," his brother snarled. "You said you didn't touch her, you sonova bitch! That's what you told me."

Edward looked down at his boots, feeling lower than the dirt caked all over them. "I said I don't remember touching her. It were only that once, and I was on a hell of a bender."

Hands on his hips, Carlisle scoffed. "Well, all it takes is once."

When Edward only blinked up at him, the elder Cullen brother shook his head and offered his hand.

"What are you getting at?" Edward asked, throughly confused as he let Carlisle help him to his feet.

"Your wife. She's pregnant."

Edward's stomach dropped right down to his boots. He stumbled backward and then fell right back down on his ass.

"Aw, Gawd," he muttered, knocking his hat off as he gripped his hair in his fists. "You sure?"

Carlisle crossed his arms. "Course I'm sure. Would I have clocked you if I wasn't?" He grimaced. "Though I should've when you abandoned that poor girl here in the first place."

"Is she... I mean, is she..." he waved his hand helplessly.

"She had a spot of trouble in the beginning. Terrible with the sickness. It only recently took its leave so she's a mite on the skinny side." A smile played at his lips. "But Esme's set on fattening her up now that she can keep something down, so don't worry none about that."

Edward hung his head and said nothing. Bella had been a skinny little thing to begin with. With a sigh, he let his hands drop as he stared sightlessly forward. "She must hate me."

At that, Carlisle squatted, his expression turned compassionate again. "As it happens, your Bella's one amazing gal. Don't know how, but you done struck gold when you weren't even looking. She misses you, Edward. Ain't never stopped watching the horizon for you to come on home."

His heart did an odd little flip in his chest. Edward rubbed at his chest distractedly. "That don't make a lick of sense," he muttered, mostly to himself.

"You're going to be a papa," Carlisle said quietly. "You've got to wake up, son. You and I both know you don't deserve that girl, but you got her, and she ain't going nowhere. You got this one chance to turn yourself around. You can still be a respectable man, the kind of man your child can look up to."

_**~0~** _

Bella was in the hen house humming quietly to herself as she gathered up the eggs when an excited set of feet came running.

"Bella, Bella!"

The birds squawked in protest and panic as Emmett came bounding up the cockwalk.

"Easy now, Em. You got fire under your boots, boy." She chuckled. Emmett was always amusing, too full of energy for this early in the morning, but amusing just the same.

He cocked a grin at her. "Uncle Edward's here."

Quick as that, Bella's stomach began to twist and her hands trembled so hard she near about dropped the basket of eggs she carried. "Edward's here?" she echoed, touching the back of her hand to her suddenly heated cheek.

"Sure, 'nuff," Emmett said. "Well, come on then. Dontcha want to see him?"

Bella smiled gently, ruffling the boy's hair. "Go on. Work still needs doing regardless. I'll be in shortly."

When the boy had scampered off, Bella sunk to her knees, holding her knuckles against her lips. Esme said the baby made her prone to fits of mood, so that must have been why she felt suddenly weepy.

She'd had her fair share of bad days since Edward had brought her here. Not because Carlisle and Esme weren't kind, honorable people. They were friendly. Emmett was a hoot and the baby, Alice, was as sweet as could be.

Still, it hadn't been easy. She knew how to be of use and did her part on the ranch. But she felt like a burden, as much as they both assured her she wasn't.

It was also sometimes difficult. Her own father had loved and doted on her mother well enough, but watching Carlisle with Esme was another world entirely. Carlisle didn't just dote, he near about worshiped the ground his wife walked on. His touch was tender, the look in his eyes absolutely adoring. Didn't matter how small his touch was, whether it was just a squeeze of her hand or a full on kiss, the love he had for her was present in every action.

Part of her ached. In the night when she was alone and couldn't sleep, she stared out at the stars and let herself imagine what it might be like for Edward to look on her like that.

She absolutely believed what Esme tried to tell her, that Edward was a kind, good man at heart. In many ways, he was the same lost little boy who'd run away from his pain. He'd forgotten what home looked like was all.

Bella certainly understood that. She hadn't had a home for true in years - since her Ma and Pa fell ill.

He was a good man, and maybe he didn't care for her the way Carlisle cared for Esme, but he didn't hate her either. She'd seen glimpses of the tenderness in the way Edward did his damndest to take care of her that week it took them to get to ranch. He was a better man than he thought himself. There was even a certain sweetness in his guilt, though it was maddening.

Why couldn't he see his place was with his family? Even taking herself out of the equation, there was an empty place at the table where he belonged - with his brother, his sister-in-law and the children.

Even in the limited exposure she'd had to her wayward husband, she knew without a doubt he belonged here among good people, not where he thought he belonged with the likes of James and Felix.

Bella let her hand drift down, cupping her belly. She gripped the fabric of her dress, biting her lip nervously.

Over and over she had to tell herself she'd done no wrong. It was right for a husband to lay with his wife. Children were the whole point of that union, weren't they? She didn't want to feel bashful. She fervently hoped he would be pleased.

She foolishly hoped he would stay, if not for her then for the child.

Climbing to her feet, Bella set out for the house. She stopped at the water pump, suddenly self-conscious. The water was frigid, but she ignored her discomfort, trying to scrub away some of the dirt she knew was on her face, her neck. It weren't no use though. There was plenty of dirt to be had and not enough time for a proper bath.

Well, it weren't like her fine looks had made a difference before.

Her heart beat too quick as she approached the house, pushing the back door open quietly, listening.

It was Esme's voice that reached her first. "Edward Cullen, you stop going on like she's some fragile little flower you're trampling underfoot."

"Tell me true, Esme. She ain't really happy about this, is she?"

Bella leaned against the wall, closing her eyes, resting one hand over her baby and her forehead against the wall. He didn't sound happy.

Esme sighed. "Truth be told the poor child cried for near about a whole day when she figured she was carrying. That what you want to hear?"

There was silence.

"It's an overwhelming thing even when your husband hasn't hightailed it off to parts unknown." Her voice was harder than normal, pointed. "But then she dried her tears, picked herself up, dusted herself off, and started asking me every question she could think of. You could learn a lot from that wife of yours."

"She's strong, ain't she?" Edward asked quietly.

"To say the least. She's been through a lot." There was a pause. "But so have you, Edward. If you'll only let yourself see-"

"This ain't about me," he snapped, sounding irritated. There was the scrape of a chair across the wood floor. "I best go find her."

He was walking in her direction before Bella had time to react so he near about barrelled right into her.

For a few seconds they only blinked at one another.

He was as stunningly handsome as she remembered - all sunkissed skin and fine features. His eyes were storm of green, his tense chin rough with stubble.

He swallowed hard and, with noticeable effort, made his smile gentle. "Hey, chickabiddy," he greeted quietly, his words just a whisper.

~0~

It was evening before they really had a moment to talk. All that day, Edward hurried to make sure he got to all Bella's chores before she could. At least, he tried to get everything done. Little Alice made that difficult, insisting on clinging to her Uncle's neck.

"They always had a special connection," Esme explained. "Emmett loves Edward and vice versa, of course. But Alice..." She clucked her tongue. "We thought maybe she was dumb for a while. She ain't never said a word till well after her first birthday. Edward came around, picked her up, and started chatting with her like they were already mid-conversation, and 'for you knew it, she was jabbering back."

The way they sat, their heads bent together, made Bella hope. She had to admit she felt a little trepidation over what kind of father Edward would be - Lord knew the home he'd come from - but seeing his gentleness with tiny Alice and remembering the care he'd shown her, Bella's worries were put at ease.

Course, Edward was a whole other story.

Bella's wayward husband could hardly stand looking at her, and though Bella knew it was his misplaced sense of guilt, that fact still ate at her, making her ache. There was this tension between them, this yawning chasm she didn't know how to bridge. She didn't know the rules here - whether or not she should touch him, whether or not she should push him to talk.

It was awkward between them, but not so uncomfortable. Sometimes she caught him looking at her, his eyes roaming her body, his lips turned up at something she said or did, and it gave her hope.

That night, when the children were long asleep and Carlisle and Esme headed to their room, Edward tentatively took her hand. Bella's cheeks flushed, butterflies fluttering in her belly as she tried not to let on how absurdly pleased she was at the gesture. She was silent as she walked beside him to her room.

His head was bowed as he sat on her bed. He idly turned his hat over and over in his hands.

Bella bit her lip, not knowing what she was supposed to say. "I almost feel like I should apologize," she admitted finally, resting her hand against her stomach in case he didn't know what she was talking about.

At that, his head snapped up. "What?" He huffed, shaking his head. "Bella, you ain't done nothing wrong."

"Well, you ain't neither," she returned, sitting beside him, feeling a little uncertain.

His nearness made her throat tight, but Bella pushed by that. She was a wife and would be a mother soon. It was time to stop acting the child.

Pressing her lips together tight, before she could talk herself out of it, she untucked her shirt from her skirt and reached over, taking his hand.

"What-" he began but cut off as she took his hand, slipping it under her shirt, pressing his palm flat against her skin.

He sucked in a breath. In the soft candlelight, she could see the way his eyes widened, his lips forming an 'o' of surprise. He shifted on the bed, angling his body toward her and putting his other hand on her. "I can feel it," he said wonderingly.

Bella couldn't help the smile that spread across her face then.

The little bulge at her abdomen wasn't visibly perceptible, but with her hands against her bare skin, it was definitely there. It was a little ball of taut, firm skin different from the softness of the rest of her body.

When she'd felt it first, that was when she knew that though she was scared half to death at the idea of birthing a baby and being a mother, she loved this child. The time since she'd figured out what was happening, why the nausea wouldn't leave and why the curse hadn't come on her, she'd wished for the chance to make Edward feel what she felt.

Maybe they could be a family.

Edward gasped a little, his eyes shining with emotion as he pressed against her skin.

Then she saw the darkness encroach again. His breath stuttered and he pulled his hands back. His brows furrowed, and the tortured expression returned with a vengeance. "Bella," he whispered, sounding suddenly every bit the lost man Esme claimed he was. "Tell me what you need, what you want. I want to take care of you, I do. I owe you that. I owe you so much more."

Bella bit the inside of her cheek. There was too much she wanted to say, but she didn't know if she had the right. He was a man with a will of his own, and she hadn't the right to ask him to be somewhere he didn't want to be.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she blurted. Instantly, her cheeks burned. "Just to sleep."

He looked surprised, but a small smile played on his lips. "Girl, you're a hard one to shake, ain't you?" he murmured, his tone soft. He lifted a hand, drawing his fingers down her cheek. "Why do you look at me like that? Like I'm a man anyone could want, let alone a sweet thing like you?"

Bella was perplexed. "You're my husband," she said, not quite understanding why he seemed to want her not to want him.

His smile was gentle. "I am at that." He looked conflicted for a moment before he leaned forward, tentatively pressing a tiny peck to her lips. "I'll stay, chickabiddy. If it pleases you, of course I'll stay tonight."

She didn't miss his qualifier, but she would take a step forward where she could get one.

"Oh. I almost forgot," Edward said suddenly. He pulled his satchel over to him and rummaged through it. "I have something for you."

Curious, Bella peered into bag, her eyes widening when he pulled out a case. He smiled, watching her as she opened it.

Inside was a little pistol. It was kind of pretty with pearl inlaid in the handle. Bella stroked it, a little awe struck.

She couldn't remember the last time anyone had given her a gift.

"I told you I'd get you one," Edward explained, taking the little gun out. "What do you think?"

"I think..." Bella bit her lip, her eyes darting up so he would see she was teasing as she spoke, not wanting to seem ungrateful. "It's a tiny thing. I feel like it'd do more damage if I threw it at someone."

He chuckled and put it in her hand so she could feel the weight. "It'll do more damage than it looks like. I'll take you out in the morning, learn you how to shoot good and proper."

Smiling, Bella kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"Course." He ducked his head, looking as shy as she felt. "I know I missed your birthday, after all. 'Twas the least I could do." He breathed out and in steadily for a moment. "Bella, I'm trying. I am. I want to give you what you need, what you deserve." He swallowed, brushing her cheek again. "You and the baby."

Bella looked down at the pistol, turning it over in her hands, thinking about how dangerous his life was.

He could kill or be killed with a gun like this.

Bella's throat got tight so it was hard to speak. "What if..." Her voice was breathy. "What if what's best for us is to have you here? Have you home."

He didn't answer right away. "I gotta make money somehow. How am I supposed to provide if I hole up here?"

"There's plenty of work to be had here, Edward," she said quickly. "Carlisle would help. You know he would."

She saw her husband's jaw tighten. "I don't want his help. Not with that."

Maybe she was new at marriage, but she knew better than to push. It was a raw, unhealed wound between Edward and his brother. Carlisle had his own regrets on that score.

Edward was a man with scars, and he wasn't going to change overnight, if he changed at all. She would have to weather the tides with him, see what shore she washed up on. It would have to be enough for now that he was obviously not simply casting her aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many of you saw the baby thing coming. If y'all know anything at all about GinnyW, you'd know a fic for her has to include a pregnancy. Ginny loves her some baby fic!
> 
> Many thanks to GinnyW, jfka06, and barburella for all their help and love.
> 
> And thank you to all of you. I wish I could review reply to everyone because your words mean so much to me.


	5. Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love you guys.

"Aw, for Chrissakes." James tilted his chair back along with his drink, chugging for a moment before he set it down and glared at Edward. "I've put up with yer damn moods since you were a pissant little snot. You never been this way."

Self-conscious, Edward readjusted his hat so he could better look at the other man. "You got no cause to complain."

James scoffed. "Well, you sure ain't a pleasure to be around, I'll tell you that."

"Ah, hell. You don't pay me for entertainment. I ain't one of your little wenches. I do what I'm told, so leave me be," Edward grumbled, getting up and taking his drink over to a free table.

Unfortunately, James followed him. "Thing is, your head's not in the mix. An' that doesn't set well with me."

Edward slammed his glass down. "What do you want from me, James?"

"I want to know what's gotten into you." He looked Edward over. "It's not that girl... what's her face?"

"You mean my wife?" Edward growled.

James scoffed. "Now, what's the point of getting rid a your baggage if you just think on her. You ain't even looked at all the tasty-"

"G'dammit. Will you shut up?" Edward cupped his glass in both his palms. "It don't sit well with me, leaving her to my brother to care for. That's my responsibility, ain't it?"

"Seems to me like finally that somova bitch is being some use to you. Come on, Edward. What the hell you want with a wife? You wanting a baby?"

Edward choked a little on his drink.

James laughed raucously. "Yeah right. Tell you what. You want a passel of critters, you do like Alec done. You get yourself a little mouse out on the prarie. Lay with her when you're in the area, you come back every year or two to a new brat."

When Edward said nothing, James gave him the side eye. "So what, you want to give her a home of her own and all that."

"That's what she deserves," Edward muttered more to his drink than the man across from him.

"Well, don't know if you noticed, but homes, land... it all takes dinero, friend. How you 'spect you're going to get all that money, huh?"

"Suppose you're going somewhere with this?"

James leaned back in his chair, looking smug. "I reckon so."

_**~0~** _

After James made his plans clear, Edward told him he needed time to think. He took to the wild on his own, making his way toward Carlisle's ranch.

No. He was making his way back to her. Back to his impromptu bride.

Edward didn't quite understand why - he'd brought her nothing but heartache, after all - but she smiled when she saw him, and he smiled right back, his heart lighter than it had been since...

Well, maybe ever.

Her expression was shy, but she padded through the snow to give him a kiss sweeter than honey and walked at his side to the stables where he could leave his horse.

"I, um. Well, this all is for you," Edward said, feeling awkward as all get out as he thrust a bundle into her arms.

Bella blinked, taking the twine-tied bundle from him.

"It's fabric, mostly. Figured you and the baby would need something before long. There's a pretty dress, too. Don't know when you might be able to wear it seein' as..." He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, it's yours, anyhow."

"Thank you," she said softly, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "It all looks very fine."

Biting the inside of his cheek, Edward took the bundle from her, setting it on the stall wall a moment. "I got something else for you, too." Why he felt so nervous about this, he couldn't say. His heart was up in his throat, his every thought centered around his nerves. Would she think he was foolish?

Shaking his ridiculous schoolboy behavior away, Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace, putting it quickly in her palm. "I had cause to trade with some Indians a week or so back," he explained, his words coming faster than normal. "Don't know how much store you can put in their legends, but they say this will protect you." He closed her fingers around the thing, suddenly not wanting to see it. "You don't got to wear it, but-"

"I think it's beautiful. Thank you," Bella said sincerely, wrapping her arms about his neck.

Edward smiled again and put his hands to her back, pulling her close. He closed his eyes, just breathing her in a moment, thinking how nice it felt to hold a woman against him like this.

Thinking maybe it would be nice not to have to let her go.

_**~0~** _

That evening, Esme and Bella went to put the children to bed, leaving Carlisle and Edward at the table.

Wordless, Edward pulled out a roll of bills, tossing it across to his elder brother. Carlisle looked at the roll a moment before tossing it right back.

"I still have the money you gave me before," Carlisle began, his tone deceivingly nonchalant. He cleared his throat. "As it happens, the Whitlocks are looking to sell some of their land. He'd offer you a fair price, I'd wager. The property is out yonder - close enough for us to-"

"What are you on about?" Edward interrupted, irritation thick in his tone. He tossed the roll back with a little more force. "You take this money. It's for Bella."

"I know what it's for," Carlisle's voice was harder when he spoke, but still calm. "I told you before, that girl is no burden to us. She more than pulls her own weight. I got no need of this money." He scoffed. "Hell, half the time I think I should be paying her for how much she helps out around here." He placed the roll back on the table with purpose, staring hard at Edward. "You take this back, take what you give me before back, and you give her a homestead of her own."

"I won't be indebted to you, Carlisle." Edward was rounding quick on furious. "I will do what's right by her."

"Then do what's right. You got no business running off, putting yourself in danger when you got a family waiting for you right here."

"Well if that ain't the pot calling the kettle black," Edward said bitterly.

"What?"

Leaning across the table, Edward glared at his older brother. "You sit here and lecture me about running out on my family when you done the same." He pushed away from the table, getting to his feet. "But there's the difference between you and me. I come back. It ain't running if you keep coming back."

He turned, ignoring the hurt look on his brother's face as he made for Bella's room.

_**~0~** _

Bella was surprised to find her brother-in-law alone at the table, staring forlornly down at his drink, when she and Esme returned to the kitchen after getting the children settled.

Esme sighed quietly. "I'll see to my husband, you best see to yours," she said in a sotto tone, patting Bella's arm before she went to Carlisle's side.

With one last glance, her heart twisting a little, Bella retreated.

Sure enough, a soft glow came from under her door, so her lamp was already lit. Not knowing what to expect, Bella breathed deep before she went in.

Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands tangled in his hair, his shoulders slumped. He looked up when she came in and smiled. It was a tight smile though, tinged with guilt and a tiredness in his eyes that spoke of much more than his 25 years.

"Hey, chickabiddy," he said softly, his voice scratchy. "You ready to sleep?"

She closed the door, leaning back against it for a moment, considering him. "Did something happen between you and Carlisle?"

Edward dropped his gaze down to his feet, chuffing lightly. "Nothing you need to be worrying about."

"Well, maybe you'll tell me more about what happened between you. You speak most times like he's the man you most respect in the world, but you don't want to let him help you." She crossed her arms in front of her, again wondering if she was overstepping her bounds. But no. She'd seen Carlisle and Esme together. It seemed to her Carlisle respected his wife's opinion a great deal. She wanted that if she could have it.

Weren't no harm in asking, as far as she was concerned. And he'd said once he preferred she speak her mind. He had yet to lash out at her anyway.

But Edward didn't look up. "Don't matter none. Bygones is bygones. No use whining 'bout things can't be changed."

Biting the inside of her cheek, Bella crossed the room to him and knelt at his feet, beginning to undo the laces of his boots.

"Ah, honey. You don't need to be doing that. Get up off your knees. You ain't my servant." He tried to tug at her arm, but she shied away.

"Well, if'n you won't talk to me..." She looked up at him from under her eyelashes, proud her voice wasn't shaking though she was nervous about what she was doing. "I got about as much experience being someone's wife as you have being someone's husband. If you ain't going to tell me what's wrong, you let me do for you as I can."

He let out a long sigh, wrapping his hand around her arm and tugging lightly again. "Come on up here, then, if you're sure you want to hear this."

Getting to her feet, she moved to sit beside him. "I want to know you."

He sucked in his cheeks, his lips puckered for a moment, but he nodded. Hesitating a moment, he put his hands on her shoulders, and Bella followed his silent direction so she was turned away from him. Before she could question his intention, she felt his hands soft and light in her hair, undoing the ties and loosing it from the tight braid inch by inch as he spoke.

"Don't know how much Carlisle told you of our upbringing. Happier than some, I suppose. We had food, and shelter, and toys at Christmas." His voice was so far off, Bella's heart twisted just hearing it. She wanted to turn around, wrap him in her arms, but figured he'd turned her away for a reason.

Besides, the feel of his fingers through her hair, the gentle way he worked through the snarls, was just heavenly.

"See, our Pa was a preacher, a very righteous man. He thought it was the Lord's work to, er, correct us - my brother, mother, and me - when we stumbled off the path of righteousness." His tone was hard, bitter here, and again, Bella's heart lurched. She couldn't imagine what he must have suffered.

"Momma kept it from being too bad at first. But when I was eight, she got thrown from her horse and died." Bella made a small mournful noise at the back of her throat but otherwise kept silent. Edward continued.

"It was... real bad after that." He sucked in a deep breath, his hands stilling on her shoulders, his voice getting thinner. "When I was 13, Carlisle run off to apprentice under Doc Gerandy." His breath was becoming unsteady. "He told me he'd be back for me. He promised."

Bella was so tense, he jumped a little when he wrapped his arms around her waist. Squeezing, he breathed her in. Bella kept her hands on his, stroking lightly, waiting for him to continue.

"I held onto that for what seemed like forever. Toward the end, it were the only thing that kept me going, that my brother was going to come for me, and things were going to get better." He swallowed once, twice, the sound wet in her ear. "But then I got post from him - that he'd married his girl, his Esme, I knew he weren't coming for me. Had other responsibilities - another family to tend to first. He wouldn't be coming for me for more years than I could think on surviving."

The silence then was heavy, and it hurt. The ache inside Bella was powerful, her heart heavy. She thought of how alone and abandoned she'd felt when Edward rode off, and how much worse it had to have been for him when he was younger than she was now. He'd left her with his family who he trusted to care for her, to love her. He'd been left without love with a man who'd harmed him.

And though Edward was being careful with his words, Bella knew something of what he'd gone through. She'd seen the scars on Carlisle's back, the remnants of their father's fury. She imagined, when there was no one else left, Edward had borne the burden alone that had once been shared by three.

Bella couldn't stop herself from turning in his arms then. She wrapped her arms about his waist and buried her face against his neck, weeping a little for him. Edward said nothing, but his hold on her was tight. When she lifted her head, she could see his eyes were closed, his breath a little ragged.

She did love him, this accidental husband of hers. He was precious to her. She'd met all manner of people in her time at the orphanage, but Edward was unique. There was a goodness about him, obscured though it was by years of hurt and anger. The way he'd been raised, the people whose company he kept the last ten years, all of it should have made him a monster. Bella wasn't so naive despite her youth. Men not half as rough and tumble as Edward wouldn't have hesitated to use her, use her body, as they saw fit, especially if it was well within their rights, as her husband, to do so. Edward had been nothing but gentle to her, and he tried so hard. Maybe he couldn't see yet how much she wanted nothing more than for him to stay, but he was trying.

Slowly, so unsure of what she was doing or if he would be open to it, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his chin. When he didn't push her away, she kissed a line up his jaw, to his cheek. He was still until her lips hovered above his, and then, with a suddenness that startled her, he kissed her. It weren't rough, but it weren't like the scattered sweet kisses they'd shared since their wedding night either. There was an intent about this kiss, a fervor that made her whole body warm despite the chill of the night.

His hands slid up her body, strong and possessive, as he kissed her. Bella's heart began to speed. This was the way he'd touched her on their wedding night, the way he'd held and kissed her. He released her lips, nuzzling her neck with his scruffy cheek, his fingers beginning to work buttons.

Bella's head spun, but despite his sudden rush, his hands, his lips at her neck, were gentle - titillating, not bruising. It was true, Bella was nervous, but she wasn't scared.

In fact, she was more than a little thrilled.

Though he'd repeatedly assured her it wasn't that she was undesirable, it was difficult to convince herself of that fact when her husband refused to touch her.

Her coat and dress slipped to the floor, and Bella was left in her chemise. She wasn't sure what she should be doing, whether or not she should be helping him out of his clothes. She was shaking, but only a little, and mostly out of an odd elation she had no previous experience with.

Edward stopped just as quickly as he'd started, pulling away from her though he kept his arms around her. Bella made a little mewling sound, unsure why he'd stopped and self-conscious that it might be her fault.

But his eyes were riveted on her belly.

"Oh, God," he muttered under his breath, moving one hand to the bump that was now perceptible with only the thin cloth between them. "Bella, I didn't mean to... I don't want..."

Bella's throat closed and her body stiffened. She tried to pull away but he held her tight.

Did her changing body disgust him?

His hand stroked the swell, and he looked up, his expression contrite. "I almost lost my head. Why didn't you tell me?"

Bella blinked, sure she'd missed something. "Tell you what?"

"I coulda hurt the baby."

"Oh!" She laughed a little. "No. It's okay, I think. You won't hurt him. Not so long as you're gentle."

He looked uncertain. "How do you know?"

"Well... Esme said-"

Edward held up his hands, making a horrified sounding noise. "Ah! I get the idea." He laughed nervously, closing his eyes and blowing out a breath. "But maybe I should sleep on the floor anyhow."

Bella's heart dropped down to her feet. "I don't understand."

He cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking gently. "Don't matter what anyone told you, don't matter what you think your duty is. No one got the right to touch you unless you want 'em to, you hear? That goes double for me. I can't imagine you'd want me after-"

"Your imagination leaves much to be desired, Edward Cullen," Bella blurted, through with hearing his guilty monologue.

He blinked at her, looking a little shocked.

Pressing through her nerves, Bella raised her hands to cup the back of his neck. "Sometimes, you are a very foolish man. Have I ever told you to go or that I don't want you?"

His eyes in the light of the lamp were serious as he searched her, not dropping his hand from her cheek. He scooted closer to her on the bed and kissed her lightly. "You ain't scared?"

"Well..." she hedged, and he pulled back again. "Not of you," she said quickly. "Just scared I can't please you like..." She bit her lip, her eyes flitting to his and away quickly. "Like maybe your other girls can."

He dropped his hands, taking hers and pulling them up between them, kissing her knuckles. "Bella... there ain't been no one since you. Not a soul. No other girl could be as pretty or as sweet. I ain't even looked at them."

A giddiness rose in her so light, Bella couldn't help the way she smiled and giggled. Of course she'd wished it but she hadn't dared to hope. She might have felt foolish but the sound of her laughter brought a beautiful smile to his face, and he peppered kisses about her nose and cheeks before he claimed her lips again, his hands strong on her back, pushing her up against him.

He kissed her right onto her back and hovered over her, his expression so tender it made her eyes prick with tears. She reached up, brushing her palm over his grizzled cheek. "Sweet, sweet girl," he whispered, raining kisses along her jaw.

He sat up only long enough to wiggle out of his trousers before he was over her again. He kissed her while she worked her shaky fingers at the buttons of his shirt, wanting to touch him now that he was letting her. She was more curious than scared as she had been the first time.

But then, this man was no stranger to her.

Mindful of the life she carried and her inexperience, Edward was exceedingly gentle, tender. The way he kissed her made her feel treasured, and he rolled them onto their sides, guiding her legs apart with easy movements, looking in her eyes to assure himself she wasn't frightened.

She was, a little. She knew he could feel the way her heart fluttered fast seeing as they were pressed together. He went slow, letting her acclimate to the feel of him as he entered her.

It was different than before and so much better now that she could cling to him, that she trusted him.

And it was so different because now it was an expression of what she felt, what he felt.

As he began to move in her, with her, she pressed shaky kisses to his lips, mostly breathing in the air he exhaled as he breathed her in. Their eyes were open, noses brushing and bumping.

She'd often noticed how intense his eyes could be - jade heavy with guilt or moss agate sparking with fury. Now the color was soft and deep.

When it was done he did not roll away from her or release her from his hold. He gathered her only closer, rolling her with him as he lay on his back, cradling her against his chest. He kissed her forehead, murmuring some sweet endearment before he drifted to sleep.

Bella lay away for some time afterward, hope and contentedness glowing like twin fires inside her. It was so different from the first time when the world was turned upside down and the man sleeping in her bed was a complete unknown, her future was a question. The ache twixt her nethers was less, the pleasure much greater. The sweat that slicked her skin and his didn't make her feel dirty.

Maybe for the first time, she felt like a woman.

Yawning, Bella snuggled up against her husband, settling her ear against his chest and listening to his heart. He tilted his head down, mumbling something into her hair as he slept, but didn't wake.

The baby, apparently wakened by all the fuss, stirred inside her, making his presence known. Bella rested one hand against her baby and the other on her husband's chest. Her family.

She knew better than to expect he would stay more than a few days. It would have to be enough that he would stay at least through Christmas. They'd come a long way from where they'd been.

Mayhap some day he would see he wasn't as homeless as he thought. As for Bella, she'd finally found her home.

Her home was whatever place he would return to, and she knew she would always be there waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Jeez. Where did that come from, kid?
> 
> GinnyW puts up with a lot from me. So does Barburella. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE DO THIS FOR ME?!
> 
> Idk, but I'm glad. Mwah.
> 
> How we doing out there?


	6. Well, What'd you 'Spect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Lovelies, I want to thank you so much for your response to this story so far. I'm having a wonderful time writing it. Thank you so much for your kind words in response.

"Where's your head?"

"I'm here, ain't I?" Edward groused, pulling himself out of his thoughts to address James who was scowling at him.

"Oughta know by now, you ain't gonna get a smile out of our Edward." Felix snorted. "Poor lad's been down on life since his last visit back to the Missus."

"Don't much care for the why's. I need you on alert. This thing goes wrong, it's on us this time, not no backer," James warned.

"Get on then. I know what's the what. No harm in wool gathering while we ride. Keep to your own business."

James glared but rode on ahead, leaving Edward to his misery. And good lord above, he was dreadful miserable.

Been near about a month since he'd last seen his wife. Probably speaking, he might never see her again.

It were no fault but his own, of course. He'd known from the get go he would screw it all up and so he had.

_**~One Month Before~** _

After Christmas, Edward got back to the ranch as often as he was able. He showered his bride with gifts every time he came around and dug her out a space beneath the floorboards to keep the money he brought, telling her to use it as she saw fit.

Far as he could tell, she hadn't touched a single bill.

They talked endlessly. Edward told her more than he'd ever told another soul before. He told her of his memories about his mother and brother... even the few fond memories of his father.

At night, they tumbled into her bed, finding themselves naked more often than not. Once he'd had her, felt her in his hands and been deep inside her, Edward found he was always wanting. Even when he was out riding the range with James and the others, his nights were warm with the thought of laying with her. Even as her waistline expanded, Edward wasn't put off. If anything, she looked all the more beautiful to him - round as she grew with his baby. It simply necessitated they get more creative in their lovemaking.

By the end of March, Edward was kissing her goodbye with an 'I love you' and a promise he'd return soon.

This last job - a simple transport and protect deal - Edward had found himself turning over his brother's words again and again.

What if he could leave this all behind, settle down with a home, a ranch of his own, a place to raise his little one?

For the first time, the idea of being settled down in one place, the stillness, was alluring to him.

Anywhere he could be with Bella every day, never have to leave her again... Weren't that preferable?

Maybe. Maybe after the big job they'd been planning since after Christmas.

Now it was late April. It was chilly right outside the warm cocoon Edward was curled into. His cheeks and forehead were cold. With a little grumble, he ducked his head further under the blankets, seeking warmth.

He wasn't really awake, but he was at least aware. There was a mass behind him, for instance, that radiated heat, comfort.

And there were little hands on him.

Tracing the scars that littered his back.

Edward tensed slightly, opening his eyes.

The light of the morning was still dim making the room shadowy. Bella's fingers were finding each of his old wounds. Her movements were gentle, but he hated the reminder they were there. He flinched, remembering the bite of the thin strap as it bit into his skin, drawing blood while his father stood over him, snarling each of his sins.

"I'm sorry," came Bella's soft voice in the semi-darkness. "Didn't mean to make you uneasy." She must have felt the tension in his shoulders and back.

"You ain't." It was a bold faced lie. His throat was tight. He was hearing his father's voice in his head telling him he was wicked.

Mayhap back when he was a youngun', his father's words rang untrue. Now, though, it was a different story.

"It don't make one lick of sense," she murmured, her touches turning to gentle caresses. "Never will understand how some could hurt them who ain't looking to harm none."

The lump in his throat got about as big as a toad and made his voice about as hoarse. The last bit of peace he'd felt this morning - these last few months he'd spent with his bride in his arms - all faded away.

How very little it had taken for his heart to melt some, for him to get used to these creature comforts. For him to start dreaming of a home.

For him to believe he deserved the love of a good, innocent, kind girl.

But he didn't. He never had.

He'd taken from this girl something he'd had no right to have, something she wouldn't have given him willingly if she'd known the whole truth about him.

Bella thought his father was evil for leaving those marks on his body. If she knew what Edward had done in the last ten years...

Well, no. She deserved to know. She deserved to know the monster she laid with.

Slowly, he rolled over, his eyes closed while he hardened his heart, made it so his face reflected the cold sonova bitch he really was. It must have worked too, 'cause when he opened his eyes and Bella looked on him, she drew back a little, as if she were frightened.

She should be.

He took a steady breath before he spoke. "You got this idea in your head of who I am. You think I'm any better than the man who left those marks on me? You already know I'd take a girl as trade for a job I done."

"You made clear enough you never would have took me if'n you were sober," she said, but her voice was shaking. "And tell me to my face you'd mark up an innocent child like he done you. I won't believe it. Not ever."

Edward's throat felt tight. No, he could never imagine harming any baby, let alone his own, the way he'd been harmed. "A'ight then." He sat up straight in bed, pulling his legs up. "You going to be so dismissive if I tell you the things I done? I've hurt people. I stole from them." He took a deep breath, glad he wasn't facing her anymore. "I kilt a man before, Bella."

He waited for her condemnation. Her breathing quickened, but her voice was unassuming when she finally spoke. "You kill just for the fun of it? Just to see him die?"

"No." He was horrified at the thought. "He come at me."

"Well see then? Edward, I think you're a good man got caught up with the wrong kind of people, and-"

"T'ain't no excuse." He stood, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he began to look for his clothing. "I know what I done. My Pa was right. I'm wicked."

"You ain't."

"You think you know me?" he challenged, glaring.

"Course I know you. You're my husband. Please calm down and come here, come back to bed." She lifted a hand toward him, entreating.

Ignoring her, Edward pulled on his pants and shrugged into his shirt. "Don't you see? I don't belong here with you. Maybe it were nice pretending, but it ain't gonna do either of us a bit of good."

"What are you trying to say?" Bella moved a little too swiftly trying to get out of bed and put her wrapper on at the same time. She stumbled, about to pitch forward.

Edward was across the room quickly, catching her up in his arms.

She looked on him with her big eyes so wide and scared, her belly big and hard against him. What he wanted more than anything he'd ever wanted before was to tell her he was good, he was deserving of her love.

Swallowing hard, he pushed her gently back, away from him. "It's time we end this. Stop playing like I'm some sweet ol' boy who wooed you proper."

"So what? I don't want no dandy boy with flowers and the like. I want you. My husband. Father of my baby. If you're so ashamed of the things you done, just stop. Stay here. With us." She cupped one hand below, one above her distended stomach.

Edward didn't look at her as he sat down to pull on his boots. "I'll do like I told you before. I'll make enough so you can start a new life out east, or maybe to the north. You just tell em you're widowed." He huffed. "Hell, it's likely going to be true sooner than later anyhow. I'll give you enough to live until you can find you a respectable man."

"Have you lost your mind, Edward?" Her voice was equal parts fury and terror. "You go on and on about how I got a choice ain't no one's right to take away? I choose you."

"What makes you think a man like me would ever choose a little girl like you for a bride of his own free will anyhow?!" he shouted.

Instantly, he wanted to take it back, but his tongue tangled in his mouth. All the air had been sucked right out of his lungs or probably more accurately, like he'd been punched right in his gut.

When he dared look up, he saw that Bella was blinking, trying not to cry. Her pain only twisted the knife in his gut worse.

But maybe it was better this way. She should see he was an asshole. That weren't going to change.

"Don't worry." His tone held none of the emotion that was tearing him apart from the inside out. "You won't have to see me. I'll find some other way to get you the money."

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered.

He didn't answer, couldn't. He grabbed up his satchel and his holster and fled the room like his ass was on fire.

Course, he ran straight into Esme waiting for him in the kitchen with her hands on her hips.

"Edward Cullen, what have you done now?"

"I'm leaving," he said flatly.

"You can't-"

"You don't tell me what I can and can't do. I am who I am. Who I am ain't some family man meant to sit by hearth and home."

She stared at him, her expression heartbroken. "Why, Edward? When you could be with them who love you, who will help you, why would you run off with those men who don't give two bits of hell about you?"

"Man does what he knows, and that's that. Ain't got no business pretending I'm someone I ain't."

Her lips turned down at the corners, her eyes hardened. "You ain't no man, Edward Cullen, that much is sure. You're a scared little boy near about to piss your pants. It's the cowards way out, to run away from change, to insist you can't be better. Go on then. Get on outta here if running is all you're good for."

**_~Now~_ **

James was in a snit about how often Edward took off, barely kept quiet by the fact Edward had agreed to plan the job he wanted; Edward were good at the finer points of such things. Still, it had unsettled the man. Here their little group was planning their own crime - more typically they were just the hired guns - and Edward's head was off on his brother's ranch in his wife's bed.

The last month, though, Edward had been the picture of concentration. When they weren't on jobs, Edward was holed away going over the finer points of their big plan. It was honed to perfection and it was near enough time to carry it out.

Then he would be a real criminal.

One evening they got settled for the night out in a barn, having traded the night's shelter for some chores done for an old couple. The old woman patted him on the cheek and called them all good ol' boys. The man shared his brandy.

That night, listening to James and Felix get rip roaring drunk, Edward lay in his bundle of hay and stared up at the blackness, wondering what Bella was doing.

Had his baby been born yet? It was a mite early to his reckoning, but babies could be tricky that way.

Had she survived the birth? Had the child?

Edward's body tensed, and the urge to see her was so strong, he near about hopped right up out of his skin and took off running. He wanted to see her with his own eyes, to know she was safe.

Some voice in his head called to him, reminding him he could still turn back. He'd only planned a crime. There was a big difference between planning and doing. Mayhap it really weren't too late.

The next day, he made his excuses to James, intending to head out on his own for a day or two. The man grabbed his reins before Edward could ride off, staring at him with cold blue eyes.

"You're going back, ain't you. I thought you were done with all that. Edward, you even think-"

"I'll be there for our meet with the Black brothers," he said shortly. "Got something to do, is all."

"You're going to see this through to the end, boy," James warned. "Don't go getting it in your head that you can just walk away from all this."

The two men stared at each other, Edward wondering what was going on in James's ever-scheming head.

His words sounded dangerously like a threat.

Edward yanked his reins back. "I said I'd be there. Don't get all tetchy."

**_~0~_ **

Bella ran her kerchief under the water from the pump and then held the cloth to her neck, wetting the skin there. She closed her eyes, feeling the light breeze a little better now. Her little passenger made the beginnings of summer even hotter than normal.

When she opened her eyes, she automatically scanned the horizon - an old habit. She slipped her hand into her pocket, fingering the necklace he'd given her, feeling the now familiar pricks of tears begin to sting at her eyes.

"Aw, Bella, don't cry. Don't be sad."

Bella opened her eyes, forcing a small smile as Emmett came running up. "Never you mind, Em. I ain't sad."

He raised an eyebrow, fixing her with a look. "Then why are ya crying?" he challenged.

"Baby's crying, I suppose," she said with a shrug. "He's getting a little too cramped, I 'spect."

"Yeah. Is he moving?" Emmett was ever fascinated by Bella's condition.

"Sure. You want to feel?" she invited.

The boy nodded, a little wide eyed, and let her guide his hand to the apex of her belly. He giggled a little, quickly snatching his hand back when he felt the movement.

Bella laughed lightly though her heart ached, remembering Edward's expression of utter joy the first time he felt their baby move. She quickly turned away, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

She'd cried enough over her wayward husband this last month.

Mostly, she was just angry. After she'd got over the initial shock, there wasn't a part of her that believed the words coming out of his mouth. It was like Esme said: he'd known only one life for the last ten years and it weren't a pretty one. He was still hurt and scared and when he came back, she'd best make him grovel.

Bella full intended to, but for now...

Well, she missed her husband something fierce.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah, Em?"

"Maybe, if'n Uncle Edward don't wise up by the time I'm grown..." He shrugged. "I'd marry ya."

Bella laughed and knocked his hat off his head playfully. "Well, that's mighty kind of you, Emmett." She tilted her head, giving him a knowing look. "But what about Miss Rosalie Hale, hmm? I seen the way you looked at her when we went callin' last week. You're sweet on that girl, I reckon."

The boy actually blushed.

And life continued as it was wont to.

That evening, when she came in her room, there was a roll of bills laid on her bed, wrapped in a beautiful copper bracelet. Bella gasped, hurrying outside, sure Edward had come back as she'd dreamed.

He was no where.

She asked Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, even baby Alice.

If he'd been there, he'd slipped in and out without anyone being the wiser.

Long into the night, Bella sat by the window, running her fingers along the fine workings of the bracelet and watching the horizon by the light of the full moon, knowing her husband must be close and yet so far.

She looked for him until she felt the first stirrings of pain twisting low inside her. Terrified and alone, she whispered his name into the stillness of the night, wishing and hoping that he'd hear her and find his way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tricky Edward...
> 
> Thanks to jfka06, barburella, and GinnyW.
> 
> Errrrmmm... look, don't kill Edward, okay? If you kill him, the potential for HEA goes straight out the window...


	7. Call Me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Omai. We are not pleased with Edward. Not at all.

He told himself not to look, to just get on out of there without looking back, but Edward was nothing if not stupid about such things. He looked back, of course, just as Bella came into view.

She were even bigger in the belly than before, which was a little confounding to Edward. How she could stand up straight when that bulge was near about as big as she was, he didn't quite know.

How he ached then. There were nothing more in the world he wanted than to ride on back to her, take her in his arms and put his hand to where their child kicked. He wanted so much to take both of them and never have to let them go.

But they both deserved better than the scum he was.

If nothing else, maybe this job would provide enough for him to get a piece of land fair and square with no help from Carlisle.

Maybe he could become the man his wife and baby deserved.

Coming back to her with nothing to offer, particularly when he knew damn well he'd hurt her a month before, was just not acceptable.

Still, it tugged at his conscience - what he was about to do. He was confident enough in his own planning that he wasn't too worried they'd get caught, but if they did...

Well, it'd be his neck on the line, his ass the law wanted in a sling. It wasn't the same as being some hired hand weren't important enough to waste a bullet on.

When he returned to James and Felix he was even more withdrawn than he'd been. So withdrawn, he almost missed what they were talking on.

"What we do is, we leave 'em sleeping in camp," James was saying. "One of us takes the first look out, only soon as they drift off, we have the law on their tail. The reward is more than their take anyhow."

"What are you two on about?" Edward asked, wary.

An eager look on his face, James waved him over. "See this?" he smoothed out a paper - what appeared to be a wanted poster with Paul Black's likeness on it. "It's just too easy. We do this job - then we turn them in and collect the reward money."

Edward stared and blinked. "Have you lost your damn mind?! You don't turn on a brother."

James and Felix both looked disgusted. "Since when are the half-breeds our brothers?" Felix asked.

"Damn lucky we put up with them this long," James concurred, punctuating his thought with a shot into the nearby spittoon. "Filthy bastards."

Edward balked. "Them filthy bastards kept us from starving last winter." Jobs had been scarce. The Black brothers had shared a bit of work - honest work - that had kept them all fed. "Anyway, it's a stupid plan. They'd just turn you in over the job."

"And who's gonna believe 'em? Huh? Who's gonna believe a couple of filthy Indians over us?" James scoffed and leaned over the table. "What's your problem, anyhow?"

"Doesn't sit well with me is all - setting up men we work with to be betrayed."

"That a fact? What do you plan on doing about it? Christ, you sound more like a woman each day. I'm beginning to believe that little wife of yours traded your pecker for her cunny."

Edward bristled but took a deep breath before he could react to that. "Well, mayhap it's time I be getting on my own way. It's obvious I-"

"You ain't going anywhere," James snarled, his face twisting with sudden rage.

"You got what you needed out of me," Edward argued. "You said yourself you can't stand my moaning and wailing anymore than I enjoyed your company of late."

The two men stared at each other for a moment, James's eyes dangerous. "You so eager to get back to your brother's ranch, maybe I should go check it out," he suggested slowly. "Maybe I should take me a little time to get to know your missus a little better."

"You sonuvabitch," Edward growled, standing, fully intending on flying at James.

The other man had his gun drawn and pointed to the middle of Edward's forehead. "You think before you act now, boy," he said calmly. "You think good and hard. You just remember: I've been ten times the brother to you than your blood when you ain't even deserved it." He lowered his gun. "You think on what you want to do."

_**~0~** _

It wasn't as though Edward didn't know what James was capable of.

The man was the jealous type, pure and simple. Once he possessed something, he didn't like other people playing with it. Back when Edward had first joined up, James rode with a man named Laurent. He were a wishy-washy sort whose loyalties could be bought.

Laurent was currently six feet under somewhere in the desert.

And it was probably worse because besides seeing Edward as his, he saw him as valuable. Edward had a mind and eye for detail. It'd kept them out of trouble more than once, and it was exactly why James had needed Edward to be all in for this job they were set to pull. James was a wicked clever man but only when it came to people - not planning.

Add to that the insinuation James had made, the not so veiled threat against Bella that Edward knew better to dismiss, and Edward had himself a rather large quandary.

As he stared up at the stars that night, aching for his wife and his place in her bed, it occurred to Edward that he had to be the biggest idiot known to mankind.

Here he had told himself for too long he had some tie to James, some allegiance. It was true James had helped him when Carlisle hadn't, but that didn't make him trustworthy.

And he knew it, in his heart of hearts.

James had laid hands on his wife - his young wife who was shouting and pleading for him to stop.

He shoulda put a bullet between both their eyes - him and Felix - right then and there 'stead of excusing their behavior. Sure, wouldn't have been the first time they shared a woman, but them women had always been the willing sort.

His wife, what decency he had left, even the Black Brothers... What had James not set out to destroy?

All this time he'd been telling himself he belonged here - down in the dirt with the snakes rather than at home with his family. Even before Bella, he'd told himself his place was with James. There was acceptance there at least, some loyalty.

But James's only loyalty was to himself.

And though Edward had done bad things, James was just plain bad.

How in the hell he was going to get himself out of this mess, Edward didn't rightly know.

Edward closed his eyes and thought of Bella. He swore on his own life he'd been trying to do the right thing by her. What that was seemed to change directly.

But then, hadn't she told him exactly what she wanted?

She wanted him by her side - foolish little thing she were.

And hadn't Esme and Carlisle both told him it was where he should be? He had to trust his brother on some level, else he wouldn't have run Bella to him in the first place.

That as another point suddenly clear as crystal. Edward had always had some allegiance to James, but the blond man had absolutely no allegiance but to his own cause. If it suited him, he'd trade Edward's life away in a heartbeat.

Carlisle, on the other hand, had always been steadfast. Though he disapproved of Edward's lifestyle, never once had he closed his doors. Yes, once upon a lifetime ago, he'd broken the worst promise a big brother could break, but he'd done nothing but ask Edward for the chance to make it up to him since then.

And he'd taken care of that which Edward held most precious: his wife and baby.

"You damned coward," Edward whispered out loud.

He realized just then what terrified him so much. He'd followed James when his life was empty and devoid of meaning, when there was no such thing as a home for his worn out heart.

Of late, his heart had warmed and begun to beat again, stoked to life by a sweet little girl's innocent kisses and consistent love.

She loved him true, better or worse.

And good God almighty, how he loved her. His love for her was as big as the sky that filled his view.

It scared him to death.

It sent him running, sure he was undeserving.

And now that he'd heard the call beckoning him home, telling him it might not be too late.

"I'm coming home, chickabiddy," he swore to the night. "I swear I'm coming home to you somehow."

_**~0~** _

Thing was, Edward was well aware a man only got so many chances. There came a point when a mess made couldn't be undone.

So as Edward pressed on into the very blackest of nights, he didn't ask for mercy. He didn't ask for his dream - to be able to go and be the man his wife and baby deserved. He didn't ask to be saved.

All he asked, all he begged the Lord he'd long ago stopped talking to, was the chance to see her one more time before he took his predestined place in hell.

The thick blood coming out from where he held his hand over his chest was seeping through the leather of his gloves now, Edward reflected numbly. It made his hands warm when the rest of him was cold, so very cold. Breathing was a trial. There was something wrong with his lungs.

Didn't look like he was going to get his wish.

Course that weren't no one's fault but his own.

_The morning before the job - the train heist they'd been lining up for going on months now - Edward had sneaked off early to meet with the Black Brothers on his own. Might not have been the best of plans, in retrospect._

_He didn't know what he expected. The Black Brothers weren't known for their calm dispositions._

_Suffice to say, the train job never happened seeing as a gunfight erupted before they could even board._

_Jacob Black, his gun held out, his eyes trained on James, and told Edward steadily that his quarrel weren't with him and he could get on outta there._

_Edward didn't have to be told twice. He knew Jacob had better aim than James. He ran._

_He shoulda stayed to see the blond man fall._

_Because he didn't, he didn't know that James survived that gun fight, though only barely. He didn't know it until a bullet whizzed right by his ear._

_A glance over his shoulder told him what he already knew: James was on his tail, and he was livid._

_Drawing his pistol, Edward shot behind his back, hunkering down low, urging the horse faster._

_It was James's third bullet that caught him as he twisted. The force of it stole his breath, and Edward went tumbling from his horse onto the ground._

_The pain was incredible, but Edward knew he only had one chance. He lay face down in the dirt just waiting as James trotted up. He bid his time, clenching his jaw to keep from howling when James kicked him square in the gut, trying to get a response out of him._

_"Stupid sonova bitch," James muttered disgustedly. "Think you can run out on a fight. You think you can run out on me. That oughta learn you."_

_Edward felt the heat of James's stinking breath on his ear as the other man leaned over him. "When I see that pretty little whore of yours, I'll send her your regards from hell."_

_With a cry that was all fury, Edward turned, his pistol drawn and ready, and shot James through the shoulder - a wound that would cost him his arm. Still, James came after him, and Edward shot again, this time right at his heart. The other man fell in a heap over Edward's legs, dead._

From what Edward could see after he'd got out from under James's body, the blond man was dead where he stood no matter what Edward would have done. There was a bullet hole right through his gut that would have bled him out sooner than later.

Going after Edward was his last act.

Now, getting home to his wife, to see her one more time before he closed his eyes forever would be Edward's.

 _Please_ , he begged the powers that were.

The pain that wracked his body as he jostled in the saddle was more than he could stand. He was weak and growing weaker still.

He recalled every image he could conjure of Bella.

Her wide eyes, so scared yet so brave the morning he first woke up beside her.

Her little body pressed up against his as they rode, her arms about his waist, her voice telling stories in his ear.

The hardness of her belly as she grew their baby and the way she smiled at him, her hand pressed over his to her skin.

The softness of her body, the perfect way she fit with him and how nothing had felt better than being inside her.

Her smiles - even the wry ones when she was a little exasperated with him.

Her sweet kisses.

Each fall of the horse's hooves seemed to seemed to speak her name at a fervent pace. Bell-a, Bell-a, Bell-a.

He was so, so tired, but that tattoo kept his eyes open until he saw his brother's house on the horizon. He wanted so much to call for her, but he hadn't the strength.

It was Emmett who saw him first. Emmett and his little blond haired friend who saw him first. They started calling for Carlisle.

"No. Bella," Edward rasped. It was too late. He wanted his wife. He just wanted to see her one last time. Tell her he loved her. Tell her he was sorry.

But it was Carlisle who emerged from the house, who raced forward just in time to catch Edward as he swayed and fell from his horse.

"Bella," Edward begged in a whisper, trying to get up again, trying to get to her.

"Edward, you gotta lay back." Carlisle pushed him back down to the ground. "Let me look at you, son. Let me help you."

Edward groaned, shaking his head, fighting the blackness that was encroaching around his vision. His time was up. Already his eyelids were too heavy. It was all he could do to force them open when they tried to shut.

Then he heard her call his name.

He thought at first he imagined it, but when he rolled his head, she was standing in the doorway. The heaviness around his heart lifted in his relief, and Edward smiled, drinking her in for just a moment. He had just enough time to focus on her pretty face - so wrought with worry when she saw him - and the little bundle in her arms before his vision blurred and his head lolled.

But before the blackness took him, he heard her desperate plea. "Stay with us, Edward. We need you. I need you."

_**~0~** _

Bella rocked gently, stroking her tiny son's cheek and reveling in the little sounds he made - grunts and whines - as he suckled. He was her light, this little boy.

When he was fed and content he fell right back asleep, curled into the warmth of her body. Bella smiled, rocking him and humming lightly. He made the tiniest sighs and snoring noises when he slept.

Bella was smitten.

She was interrupted when a groan too deep to have come from such a little baby sounded nearby.

Sure enough, Edward was coming awake, his long eyelashes fluttering as he blinked. His breath was sharp, his tone filled with pain as he groaned again.

"Whoa now. Hold on. Be still just a minute," she warned, quickly settling the baby in the crib at her feet. "Hold on," she called again before leaning over Edward's bedside.

He looked disoriented. His eyes darted around, heavy with pain. Bella's heart twisted. She stroked his cheek and called his name.

When his eyes settled on her, he seemed to calm considerably. He swallowed and smacked his dry, cracked lips.

Bella eased her arm around the back of his neck, helping him hold his head up and putting a dipper of water to his lips. "Slowly," she said gently as he began to drink. He coughed a little and winced, laying back against the pillow, his face devoid of color and slicked with sweat.

"It's okay. You're alright now," she soothed, stroking his cheek.

For minutes on end, he just breathed, staring up at her, his eyes roaming as if trying to memorize her face. Bella stared down at him, and it began to hit her. Hard. She pressed her lips together, remembering the last few days, remembering seeing him lying on the ground pale as death and covered in blood.

She remembered Carlisle's gentle voice as she watched over him in this very bed that first night, his hand on her shoulder.

_"I done what I can. He's gotta fight to survive. It's up to him and God now."_

All that first night she watched Edward's chest rise and fall, terrified the movement would stop. As it was, he was struggling to breathe.

She watched Edward's eyebrows furrow, bunching together at the center as he looked up at her. Her tears spilled over, and she turned her head away quickly to control herself.

He swallowed hard. "Don't cry," he whispered in a barely there voice. He breathed in, and she knew he must be in a lot of pain, but he talked through it.

"You gave me a scare," she said, sniffling hard and turning her face back to him.

His movements were slow and weak, but he managed to lift his trembling hand to brush her cheek. She caught his hand before it fell and pressed it up against her skin, closing her eyes briefly to take in the feeling.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered.

At that she straightened and looked at him, her eyes hard, flashing with anger now that she'd had her moment of relief. "Well, that's an apt word for what you are to be sure."

He blinked up at her.

"You listen to me, Edward Cullen, and you listen good." She cupped his face in her hands, her movements tender though her voice was harsh. "This is what's going to happen. You're going to get better. You're going to do exactly what Carlisle tells you to do. I'm going to help you get back on your feet and then..."

The expression in his eyes was so utterly terrified - and yet resigned - all the anger left Bella in a rush.

He expected her to tell him to get the hell away - she could read it in that look.

Instead, she lowered her head, kissing him soft and gentle. His lips were dry under hers but they moved, and he kissed her back.

She was crying when she lifted her head again. She sniffled, wiping away her tears and looked on him in seriousness. "And then you will never leave me again. You understand me?"

A tiny smile played at his lips. He sought her hand and squeezed, though there was not a lot of strength behind the motion. "Yes, ma'am. My hand to God, I will never leave you again," he vowed on a breath.

She smiled, wrapping her hand around his, bringing his fingers to her lips. "Good." She took a deep breath. "Then you can meet your boy."

His eyes went wide.

Bella stooped, carefully gathering her baby up into her arms. He fussed a little but settled quickly.

She debated a moment but then climbed up into the bed with Edward, laying alongside him, taking care not to jostle him. His eyes never left the blanket wrapped bundle and though it obviously pained him, he rolled slightly so he could get a better look, his eyes full of wonder.

Bella felt her heart fill up. She'd been so brokenhearted, holding her baby, fearing he'd grow up without a father, wondering if Edward could ever love the little creature the way she loved him.

But he did. She could see it in his eyes how much he loved their baby.

Her voice shook and she sniffled as she pushed the blanket down from around the boy's face so he could get a better look. "This is your Papa." She said softly to the child. "Can you open your eyes for your Papa?"

The baby was agreeable. He opened his eyes and yawned, making a little cooing noise as he did.

"My God," Edward mumbled.

"I named him Jace," Bella said, nestling her head near his, her hand on Jace's belly. "He's ten whole days old today."

Edward rested his hand over hers on their son. His smile, though tired, was radiant, and there were tears in his eyes. "Hello, Jace. Jace Cullen." It took some effort, but he kissed the baby's forehead and then hers. "I love you," he said to them both.

It was all the energy he had, and though he fought it, fought to keep his eyes open, but he was losing his battle quickly.

"Thank you for fighting," Bella whispered to him, ever so grateful he was there and alive and he wanted her and the baby both.

"I heard you," he mumbled as his eyes drooped. Sleep was encroaching. Fast. "I followed your voice when I heard you calling me home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:I don't know if I should thank barburella and jfka06... I left them alone in my docs and they wrote me an Edward/James lemon. Ew. EWWWWW.
> 
> But thank you to Ginny for reading through this even whilst I was arguing with her. Is it wrong of me to make her work even though this is technically her bday present?! Yeesh.
> 
> I may have neglected to mention this was the last chapter...
> 
> But there will be an epilogue.
> 
> SO. What do we think?


	8. Welcome Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication: To GinnyW for whom this fic was conceived and lovingly grown and crafted. Thanks for being you, mei-mei.
> 
> A/N: This is not beta'ed. Cuz it really does seem wrong that this is a GIFT for my beta. LOL

Life on the ranch was hard work. Living off a land weren't always forgiving wasn't an easy life by any stretch of the imagination.

Still, though so many days found Edward dragging his weary behind into his home - his home - long after night fell, he couldn't say it wasn't worth it.

"Papa!"

Despite how tired he was, Edward's step picked up as he came in the house. He held his arms open wide, stooping a little to scoop up his three year old son as Jace came barreling toward him like a shot out of a gun. He hardly noticed his aching muscles as he tossed the boy high in the air and caught him again before bringing him close for a cuddle.

Jace giggled and clung to his neck as Edward squatted down, setting him back on the floor. Edward's smile spread when he looked up, seeing his beautiful wife watching him. He winked at her, but turned back to their boy, putting on a stern expression.

"You mind your Momma while I was away?" he asked pointedly.

The boy had inherited Edward's charming grin and weren't afraid to use it when necessary. "Yes, Papa. I's very good." He nodded, his little face serious.

Edward chuckled. "Well, that's good. I got something for you then."

Jace near about bounced right out of his skin as Edward retrieved the satchel he'd left by the door. The toddler's eyes went wide when his father pulled out a Jace-sized hat were just like his own. He grabbed at it happily. The little boy had been trying to wear Edward's hat since he could crawl. Actually, Jace was fascinated with just about everything about his Papa, which made his Papa a little nervous, truth be told.

"What do you say to your Papa, Jace?" Bella prompted him gently.

Rather than thank him, Jace ran at Edward and threw his arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely.

"I'll take that," Edward murmured, holding the boy close for a moment before he wiggled free, eager to play with his prize.

Pushing himself to his feet, Edward finally reached for his wife. "Heya, chickabiddy," he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her to him. She smiled, tilting her head up as he swooped down, kissing her soundly. He meant it only to be little more than a peck, but when Bella was in his arms, he tended to get a little carried away. It was all the worse because he'd been gone for five days to get what he needed.

How he'd gone from her for months at a time, Edward purely didn't remember. He'd been so lonely just those few days, if it weren't for his son being nearby, he might have pinned Bella right up against the wall and hiked up that skirt of hers.

Reluctantly he let her go, kissing her cheek chastely before he pulled back a bit. He took her in whole, his eyes raking her body. He moved his free hand to the swell of her belly he'd have swore wasn't there before. "Well, lookie here," he murmured, stroking her wonderingly. "What have you been up to while I was out providing, hmm?"

"It's noticeable now, ain't it?" she asked with a little sigh.

"It is." He kissed her again softly, resting his forehead against hers. "Carlisle and Esme are fixin' to visit in a couple weeks time. Esme will be pleased."

"I'd imagine so," Bella agreed. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his chin before unwinding herself from his arms. "Come on now. Set down and have some supper and tell me about your trip. How is everyone?"

When Jace was born, Edward had refused Carlisle's offer to help him buy the Whitlock's land. Privately, Edward 'spected everyone had been relieved when he decided to stay with the family. Maybe the house was a bit crowded, but no one seemed to mind. Emmett and Alice loved having their uncle home.

'Sides, though Edward hadn't said it in the moment, but he'd be lying if he'd said he was ready to live on his own. He had no idea how to be the husband Bella deserved, no idea how to farm the land. And Bella was still only just a girl herself. It helped having Esme around to help with the baby at first.

Was only a year back Carlisle finally gave up the pretense there weren't enough work in town. He gave up ranching for doctoring and tried to leave his brother the house straight out. Edward wouldn't have it and gave over most of what he'd saved.

It was still a good deal he got. Both brothers knew it.

The years had done much to repair the relationship between Carlisle and Edward. The elder Cullen brother needed the chance to set right what had gone wrong, to atone for choosing his wife over his brother. He'd never meant to be gone so long, but now Edward had given him the time to do for him as he'd been trying to all those years ago.

For Edward - it took awhile to get it in his head he was loved and deservedly so. But now, he was sure he was where he was meant to be.

"Alice is looking more like a little lady every time I see her," he said fondly as he sat. "Amazing how they grow."

Bella snorted, setting a plate in front of him and sitting across him at the table. "Ain't that the way of it? Jace were just a helpless little thing just yesterday, remember? Now look at him," she nodded to where their son was playing on the floor, hopping around, pretending he was a proper cowboy with his new hat.

Edward laid his hand palm up on the table, smiling when she put her hand in his. "Whatsay you make this one a little girl, hmm?"

Bella chuckled, looking on him adoringly. "I'll see what I can do."

"Anyhow." He looked down, studying his plate because he weren't sure at all she was going to like this next part. "Carlisle and I got it in our heads might be good to swap Jace for Emmett come the spring." He looked up. Sure enough, Bella's face had gone carefully blank. "Just for a couple of months. Might could get him some proper schooling with Alice."

The air was uncomfortably silent for a moment, but then Bella blew out a slow breath. "I see. And what are we going to do with Emmett?"

At that, Edward couldn't help but snort. "See, Emmett's got it in his head he's going to grow up to marry Miss Rosalie Hale. Carlisle told him if he were going to marry a girl with such fancy tastes, he best start saving now." He shrugged. "We'll need some help come spring, and he's a strong boy."

"It makes sense," Bella allowed. She didn't look pleased at the idea of letting her baby out of her sight for that long, but they'd discussed this. They wanted their children to have every opportunity to do as they wanted in life. She sipped at her water with a far off look.

Edward squeezed her hand, knowing she needed time to process. They'd been at this marriage business long enough, he knew better than to push her. She'd likely have it out with him later, once she'd had the time to think on it.

So Edward filled the silence telling her about the rest of his journey. "Got you a passel of new books from town," he mentioned slyly.

That brought the smile he loved to her face.

After he had some supper in him, Edward collected Jace from where the boy had fallen asleep on the floor. The boy whimpered until Edward went back for his new hat.

"He won't take it off for a month, I 'spect," Bella said quietly as Edward laid him in his bed.

Edward just smiled, running his fingers through the toddler's long hair. He was beautiful, their boy. It'd never cease to amaze him, looking at the youngin', to see his own features, his own eyes staring back at him.

"He's in such a rush to be just like me," he said, his tone strained.

"Course he is." Bella's hand was soft on his back. "His daddy's a good man."

Edward huffed a little but bent down, kissing his son goodnight before he let Bella take him by the hand.

Just outside their room, she turned to him, walking backward, pulling at his shirt, beginning to undo his buttons.

"Woman, you start pulling at me like that, I might get it in my head you want me," he said lowly, watching her.

She looked up from under her eyelashes, grinning as she undid his belt buckle. "That what you think, is it?"

Edward tilted his head down, kissing her sweet before he came back for more. "I reckon that might be your aim."

"Well, you're a smart man." She slid his suspenders down and his shirt off his shoulders. "See, my husband's been away."

"I see." He began unbuttoning her shirt. "You looking for me to fulfill his husbandly duties, are you?"

"I'd be much obliged."

Edward wound his hands up into her hair, pulling her head to him so he could kiss her proper.

"I did miss you," he rumbled as he laid back on the bed.

She straddled his waist, taking him in her hands. Edward moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. "You were only gone five days," she reminded him.

"Was near about a lifetime," he muttered back, his hands roaming up her body, cupping her breasts.

When she slid down on him, taking him inside her, Edward knew he was home. He caressed her pretty features, ran his thumb over her lips.

She weren't the same girl he'd woken up beside those years back. She was the very embodiment of the woman who'd saved him, who'd brought him back to where he should be. She was gorgeous and confident in the way she loved him.

But she still blushed when he closed his fingers around her nipples.

She drove him wild, this woman.

When they were both spent and she was curled in his arms, Edward breathed her in, entirely content. He kept one hand splayed low on her belly, wondering at the new life they would soon welcome to their brood.

Bella put her hands over his. "You really wanting a girl this time 'round?"

"Yeah. With your eyes, your hair if you can swing it."

She laughed, her body jostling against his. "I'll see what I can do."

"That's my girl." He kissed her forehead.

They were silent for a few minutes. Edward thought she must have fallen asleep until she spoke again. "I'm glad you're home."

"Yeah, chickabiddy. I am, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Short but sweet, right?
> 
> Question... if Edward was a cowboy all covered with dirt and sweat, would you still lick him?
> 
> Anyway. Thank you to my girls, as usual. Thank you to all of you. Your reaction and your enjoyment make writing such a pleasure.
> 
> Until next time, my lovelies. Kisses and hugs.


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